The Human Condition

Move

2010-05-06T15:49:00.003+08:00

I'm considering moving to http://paintedworld.tumblr.com/ but there's so much accumulated shit here .. oh wait, that's a good reason to move. And it's much easier to post on tumblr, so there might be more updates - might.

Isn't it ironic

2010-04-27T15:42:00.001+08:00

It seems only natural that when faced with tight academic related deadlines, I blog. Exams coming and I had barely started studying; blog. The million and one things to do can wait.

I find myself now in a similar situation where I need to finish a first draft of a 10 or 25 page business case by this Friday. It's not graded, but late submission will penalized. How that works, is of course a mystery.

Perhaps tomorrow I will attempt to locate the requirements document. I'm sure it's somewhere in my email account, but if I can't find it I'll just ask a friend for a copy.

It has always been this way - relying on Weeli in secondary school to tell me what subject is being tested on that very day, counting on a whole bunch of friends in polytechnic to keep me in the academic loop, and on Japheth in college to keep me up to speed with deadlines and important dates.

It's somewhat ironic that the same person who's nonchalant at best about matters most find important is now working his ass off to secure a job in a foreign land 8000miles away from his support network.

Sloth, not unlike hedonism, is a habit awfully hard to break. To counter Sloth, I draw from Pride. To refute hedonism, I look to Love.

paper crane

2010-04-27T15:01:00.004+08:00

"Are the frivolous
strangers to pain;
or the whore possess
not one ounce of pride

Does the truth forever elude
the factitious;
can love, not take root

Do their words ring ever hollow
their heart, a shallow pan

But a moment, extrapolated in time"

For the Love of Cow

2010-04-19T05:05:00.006+08:00

I seem to always end up being the one preparing and grilling steaks at cook-outs - if, I think the meat's of good quality. It just pains me to see gorgeous meat adulterated with half-ass marinates or treated with a lack of respect for the deceased cow; like cutting a beautiful one inch thick New York steak into half length-wise and turning it into western food stall grub.

Someone did just that at the NUSEA + Singapore Connect picnic yesterday, and it was all I could do to keep a smile plastered on my face as Aunties expounded on the merits of a thinner steak while the culprit was slicing my poor steaks into half.

Yes, I'm a bigot. And I never cook steaks past medium-rare .. intentionally :D

Shut up.

2010-04-12T09:59:00.002+08:00

Quit bickering. If you must, do it privately and not talk to the Press, you idiots.

CSJ and CST, for the love of God, have kopi together, keep smiles plastered on your faces and get people to take pictures of you. Same goes for you guys, KJ and NTS. If you need motivation, pick up some old secondary school Chinese textbook and read about the one chopstick vs 10 chopsticks story.

And for every point you bitch about, offer a solution.

You clowns don't need a 25 year old bum to teach you how to contest an election, do you?

Into a million pieces

2010-03-26T11:22:00.000+08:00

[8:07:28 PM] GL: can you please look after your physical appearance while you are there?
[8:07:35 PM] Shaun Lim Jin: :(
[8:07:37 PM] GL: being an IT geek doesnt mean looking like one
[8:07:37 PM] Shaun Lim Jin: i look like crap?
[8:07:44 PM] GL: you don't look as nice?
[8:07:53 PM] GL: i won't say crap la
[8:08:02 PM] GL: just that you are letting yourself go alittle
[8:08:08 PM] GL: a littlllleeeeeeee bit

Hypocritical?

2010-02-09T14:50:00.004+08:00

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Same Same but Different? But of course, we should bear in mind that Lighthouse bases its teachings on very tangible manifestations of the spiritual - healing and such.

Chant. Tongues. Chant. Tongues. Same Same but Different, one can argue. And I might not know much about Buddhism, but Fuck la, that dude knows jackshit as well. If posting some racist comments on blog/facebook can result in one being charged .. what should happen to this Pastor Rony? Is this another manifestation of God's divine protection?

Help.

Update: http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/1036451/1/.html

if

2010-02-03T16:53:00.004+08:00

if(self.skillSet() == softwareEngineer.brilliant())
{
self.setEmployer("Google");
} else {
while(success.rating != OBSCENE) {
self.fightSloth();
self.figureSomeShitOut();
}
}

Dream

2010-02-02T16:53:00.001+08:00

"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."
- Henry David Thoreau

Fatigue

2010-01-30T18:12:00.002+08:00

I'm so tired. Now, don't go saying "There's no rest for the Wicked"; I've been good. I've just been so swamped with work and school that I hardly have time to breathe.

Climbing has unfortunately taken a backseat. Dinner is usually horrible Shaun-cooked food, save for the occasional steak that I pick out at the supermarket to treat myself.

The Rockstar mentality of start-up culture has rubbed off on me. I actually look to do things outside and beyond my job scopes. Yes, scopes, plural. The fact that I'm an intern, and a lowly paid one at that, doesn't seem to stop me from doing so. Perhaps that's a good thing. I came here to shake out the perpetual sloth that has been bogging me down, and so far it seems to be working.

I'm just .. tired, man. I'm gonna crash. Good Night, folks.

Here's a totally unrelated picture to show that yes I'm alive and it's actually pretty nice out here.

Disjointed Verbal Diarrhea

2009-12-31T04:44:00.001+08:00

I postulate that at the basest level, a male harbors desires to gain carnal knowledge of any attractive female he encounters. In every other species, the male's success pretty much boils down to how strong he is in relation to the female or his other male counterparts. Our kind however, is bound by other factors much more intricate than mere strength.

Coercion, is naturally (or perhaps unnaturally) frowned upon in most societies and there are explicit laws dealing with that. It's boring for the most part unless you consider the mock rape that so excites some of us.Moving on.

An attractive girl should banish all hopes of purely platonic friendships with males of our species. In fact, given that attractiveness is relative, it is plausible that every single woman has around her males who whether consciously, subconsciously but never unconsciously, want to sleep with her.

Of course, such lustful thoughts might, ironically, facilitate friendships between the sexes - a guy harboring even a remote thought of somehow bedding a girl will be a lot more accommodating to any idiosyncrasies she might have. For example, a hot girl can throw a hissy fit, and the guys around her might smile indulgently or at least find it somewhat acceptable relative to how attractive they find the girl. Let a whale or equivalent do the same, and you'll observe very different results. Of course there will be whale-lovers or equivalent around these girls who'll display similar accommodating behavior because hey, Lust is for everyone.

With that, we come to the intricate factors that stop a male from carrying out his desires - be it sleeping with a friend, cheating on a partner or randomly copulating with consensual females.

That'll be material for another post, another time, provided I don't get lynched for this.

Decisions

2009-12-28T16:50:00.002+08:00

I make bad decisions.

First, I procrastinate far too much. As usual, laundry time's when I'm down to the last pair of boxers - the one I'm wearing - and no fresh bath towels. And of course I had to wait till 11pm before reluctantly dragging my ass to the laundry room. It would have been an hour and a half affair though, if not for the washer deciding to break down on me and not finish the rinse/spin cycle.

This happened to me a couple of times back in Sheares but then laundry was free there and here it's $1.50 per load. A smart thing would be to run clothes through another wash cycle in a different machine, but this time, as I did in Sheares, I chose to dump the whole lot in the dryer instead.

There're two problems here:

1) The clothes are dripping wet and would never dry with the normal dry cycle.

2) The rinse cycle didn't complete so the clothes are still soapy.

Where does this leave me? Waiting for soapy wet clothes to dry in the dryer. Bah.

Similarly tragic decision making accompanies my car. The first was to drive over 400 miles to San Diego instead of flying. The second is to allow the fuel to run low, and the next to rely on the GPS to locate the nearest gas station. What followed was 15 miles driving South, North, then South again on the I-5 highway before eventually running flat out of gas and rolling to the road shoulder 40 miles from Kerry's place in San Diego. Fuck the GPS, and fuck my life.

I spent the next hour keeping a wary eye on the side mirror as I saw gazillion-ton trucks wheeze past me at over 70 miles/hour and feel the road rumble every time they past. Kerry eventually came with a galleon container of gas, I started the car, drove 8 miles and lo and behold, a gas station. If I had ignored the damn GPS and just driven on, I would have hit that, and save myself the other headaches to come.

Car Education 101 - old cars have gunk lying on the bottom of the fuel tank that minds its own business mostly, but let the tank run dry, and the fuel pump sucks up said gunk and totally fucks up the fuel line. That resulted in a $400 fuel pump and filter change, but not before I brought it to another workshop where they misdiagnosed the fuel line problem but found a problem with the brakes instead. That was $400.

$800 in repairs later on my 18 year old Miata, I decided to sell it. Posted an ad, got a response, but blew it off cause well, it was running along just fine after the repairs and I love my car too much to let it go.

Took it for a 100mile each way drive to Pebble Beach. Many beautiful pictures later, my clutch's now loose. No idea what the problem is but a couple of google searches seems to indicate either a master or slave cylinder problem. Bah. Taking it to the workshop tomorrow.

Take a look at this picture though, and empathize please with my love for the Miata.

Sunset

2009-10-27T16:09:00.001+08:00

Still Alive

2009-10-26T16:08:00.002+08:00

Will post again when I find something meaningful to write about. Or if I get bored shitless.

Stupidity Personified

2009-10-05T13:20:00.004+08:00

Cashier: ID please.
Me: -offers Singapore driving license-
Cashier: We can't take this.
Me: Why? Because we're not a country? -trying to convey both irony and incredulity-
Cashier: Yeah ..
Me: -Realizes that the cashier's seriously dumb.- ..It is a country.
Cashier: Where is it?
Me: Asia.
Cashier: Nope, sorry, no can do.

-Back again with passport-
Cashier: Nope sorry, company policy.

Hannah

2009-09-21T05:21:00.004+08:00

I got drunk last night, woke up at 9:34am this morning, and drove 20 miles to church.

The pastor was apparently in the middle of a character study series and today's was on Hannah, Samuel's mother. I vaguely remember hearing that story a long time ago in some church or another but the message this morning was exceptionally good. It was about suffering, and finding peace before being delivered from that suffering. Let me try to reproduce as much of its content as I can. Forgive any inaccuracies - I sat through the sermon in a state of very recent inebriation.

Hannah was barren. This was in a time when a family's economic prosperity depended a great deal on how many children you have as having more children meant more free labor to work on the farm. A woman's role in those days is mainly that of a mother and a nurturer; she would be almost useless if she was unable to conceive.

Her husband loved and doted on her, giving her double portions of food, etc, but she was still miserable. The provocations of a rival(that was the translation on the slide, I was too lazy to fish out my iphone) didn't help, and when she was praying in the temple, Eli the priest thought she was drunk and reprimanded her. Priest fail.

To sum it up, she was depressed to the point where she stopped eating and spent a great deal of time wailing. One day she decided enough was enough, walked to the temple, and prayed to God asking him to open her womb and bless her with a son, saying that if he does so, she would dedicate her son to the temple and no razor shall ever touch his head. The first thought that came to my mind was that she was simply bargaining with God, like what a lot of Christians do these days - Give me a promotion and I'll double my tithes. Grant me economic success if I give liberally to my church so my pastor can play polo and own half of east coast park.

The pastor went on to say just that - that some of us might think that she was bargaining with God, but the difference is that when people bargain with God, they do it mainly out of self-interest, whereas Hannah promised to give her son entirely to God. The pastor explained that sending one's son to the temple was almost like sending him to Jedi Academy; you essentially lose a son. I might argue that she still retains a certain measure of self-interest, that her rival would finally shut the f up, and that her pride would be somewhat restored. But I shall let that pass.

The key here is that immediately after praying, she was at peace. She went to eat, and her face was no longer downcast. That's the message I guess, that we not find peace after God delivers us from our suffering, but at the moment you commit the issue to God's hands.

Obviously, God answered her prayer, she bore a son, named him Samuel, sent him to the temple where he was witness to another episode of Eli's Priest-Fail, and became a great prophet for the Lord.

I didn't stay around after church to mingle though; my head weighed a ton, my mouth tasted and must have smelled, of stale alcohol, and I was starving. I'll head back to the church again soon enough.

The Birthday Entry

2009-09-11T14:06:00.003+08:00

I recently passed the quarter mark in life; assuming I live to be a hundred, which incidentally, I've no desire to do. Alright, maybe a better way of putting it would be - it has recently come to my attention that I've lived a quarter of a century, a suitable point to look behind my shoulder and admire the messy trail left in my wake.

I paused a second to light a Parliament and collect my thoughts. Great brand of smokes, by the way, pity they don't carry them in Singapore. Yes, let's start there. I had my first smoke with people I regarded, and still do regard, as my closest friends. They've been my anchor and my toe-hold on sanity as I made my way through life. There for me when at 15 I called one up on the phone in the middle of the night in tears, heart-broken upon hearing that the only girl I thought I could ever love got together with another boy. There for me some years later when the people around me thought of me as little more than a superficial asshole.

It's fortunate for me, that they're not alone. I've friends whom I treasure, whom I pray hold me as dear as I hold them. Without them I would be lost, and though right now I'm physically over 8000 miles away from them, I'm thankful that I can call them friends.

Another break, while I walk back into the apartment to grab a Kirin and light another Parli. Beer and cigarettes. I get the impression that people generally regard me as frivolous and undependable; the go-to guy when one's looking for shits and giggles for sure, but not someone one can trust. I used to pride myself, in my younger days, on having what I thought was emotional maturity for my age, and on being a good listener. Today, I'm not so sure.

A healthy dose of cynicism is now replaced by an almost utter lack of faith, in love, and in God. I used to believe unwaveringly in God, now I turn to Him only in dire straits - like when I'm caught in 1 inch/min traffic with a terribly upset stomach. I used to love, and love unreservedly. That mutated into the mantra "love, but express that love sparingly". Now the very notion of romantic love turns my stomach and empties the mind. I see success stories around me of course, and I don't discount them. I just don't see it happening to me.

It might sound a tad melodramatic to say something like that, but I guess it's a series of poorly made decisions and episodes of barking up the wrong trees that got me where I am now. I started down the slippery slope after the girlfriend who cheated on me and, I assert, made me lose my marbles. Efforts at regaining a foothold have been complete failures, accelerating my descent each time it happens. I still cling on to a silver of hope, that I'll be able to approach whatever comes next with a little more De Profundis and a lot less Picture of Dorian Gray. We shall see how that works out.

I've stumbled through life shackled to both sloth and nonchalance. I found within myself not a lack of ambition but the distinct abhorrence towards the work involved to get there. I've made rash and misguided trades in both the equities and currency exchange market and lost what to me is a princely sum. Together with friends, I've built elaborate castles in the air but failed to materialize any of them into concrete business ventures.

Through sheer luck, divine blessings and short, inconsistent spurts of diligence, I find myself now an undergraduate in NUS having gone through an exchange program in Canada and now participating in one of the more prestigious programs the university offers - a year long internship in Silicon Valley. What I do from here is almost entirely in my hands; whether I skirt-chase, booze, blaze and bum my way through the year or turn my life into something I can be proud of.

This seems like a pretty good note to end this post on. I've work tomorrow, and if I'm going to make something of it, I need to bring my A game. There are many things in my life I need to work on, and not skiving at work's a good start.

Peace.

(Almost) Reckless Abandon

2009-08-31T04:13:00.002+08:00

Symphony.

2009-08-28T13:39:00.003+08:00

Trying to keep oneself from feeling is like trying to contain a spider in a cup; the spider will relentlessly climb up the cup walls and you'll find yourself constantly rotating and flicking the cup to keep it in. Okay, perhaps that was a bad analogy. There's a reason why cliches become cliches - because they hold elements of truth.

Let's try it again. Trying to keep oneself from feeling is like holding water in an unwaxed paper cup. Sooner or later the water soaks through, and the paper breaks.

The bible talks about building a house on sand. When strong winds come, the house crashes. Foundation's important - build a house on solid rock and not on sand, says the Lord our God.

I should stop trying to run marathons drunk. Or launch off floating driftwood in a swamp.

Excuse me for now though, while I go retch in a canal.

Advertorial

2009-08-22T00:23:00.001+08:00

Here you go, Amy.

Online shopping with a cute model here

Such a lovely place, Such a lovely face

2009-08-11T16:15:00.002+08:00

It has been three weeks since I came to California. Predictably, I'm not done unpacking; there's still stuff in my luggage and scattered around my mattress on the floor. Apart from that I'm pretty much settled though. I've started work, got myself a car, got the car insured and registered, bought furniture, ensured a steady supply of beer at home and cooked a couple of times.

I'm still waiting for the Bank of America to send me my debit card that they promised to send 5 working days from the day I applied - 27th July. Heck, even the social security administration's more efficient; I received my social security card in the mail today. This means my company can start putting me on their payroll, and that I can get a cell plan and a new phone. It ain't cheap though, and weighing the benefits of getting an iphone 3gs and the cost involved is giving me a headache.

There's so much to say but I'm tired and I've work tomorrow. Ironically, although I'm the only one among my housemates who has a car, I leave home the earliest. Parking in Palo Alto is a bitch, and if I arrive too late at the Caltrain carpark, I don't get a lot and am condemned to shifting my car every two hours from zone to zone (there's a free parking limit of 2 hours per zone) until sometime after lunch when I can try my luck again at the Caltrain carpark.

There's an awesome climbing gym less than 5 minutes from my place that offers fitness and yoga classes as well. I tried the "Abs and Core" program and will probably do yoga this week. The climbing facilities are fantastic and I've made a friend. I wish you guys were here though.

When I sit at home and sip good beer, when I cook, and when I take in beautiful sights I wish the people back home could be with me, for life can only be truly enjoyed in the company of friends.

Yes, I know this post isn't very well written. In fact, I find myself second guessing my tenses and grammar these days. I need to read, and write a hell lot more.

Drop me a message every now and then, friends, life isn't the same without you.

Mine :)

2009-08-02T10:08:00.004+08:00

I went car shopping today. Of course by that I meant calling people up on craigslist and going down to see the cars, not waltzing into car show rooms like I've a fat bank account - which I don't.

Saw a Mazda 626 first. The seller was this mexican guy who runs an auto shop. Pretty new, only 73k miles on it. Decided to continue searching.

Went up to Daly City, saw this fun looking but impractical car.

Continued viewing cars but couldn't get the impractical car outta my mind.

So ..

Yep, I got it. a 1991 Mazda MX-5 Miata.

High School

2009-07-11T05:56:00.004+08:00

I was going through the remarks made by my form teachers during secondary schools, and thought them pretty amusing. Let me reproduce them here verbatim:

Secondary 1:

Sem 1: Disappointing Results. Has performed poorly. Good work attitude but failed to achieve good grades. needs to work very hard to pass the final exam. (is she implying im hardworking but dumb?!)

Sem 2: A capable pupil. Has potential (that's more like it.)

Secondary 2:

Sem 1: Shaun is capable of better performance (yawn)

Sem 2: Shaun is capable of better performance if he is not so complacent. He must put in more effort in his Maths and Chinese. More time should be spent on his studies rather than the internet.

Secondary 3:

Sem 1: Does not respond well to advice and corrections by teachers and needs to show more interest in class (Note: she was boring as hell.)

Sem 2: Disappointing results probably due to irregular attendeance. Hei s (sic) at times is late for school. Shaun needs self-discipline to pass his "O" levels next year. Essay Competition (3rd prize)

Secondary 4:

Sem 1: Shaun is under performing. He needs to be more focused and disciplined in his work attitude.

Sem 2: An intelligent student who has the potential to do well if he puts his mind to it.

And that, folks, sums up my secondary school years. Haha.

Ouch

2009-07-10T15:45:00.002+08:00

"Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy." (Romans 13:13)

"But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat." (1 Corinthians 5:11)

"Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)

"The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God." (Galatians 5:19-21)

Damn harsh la. Whatever happened to grace, faith, and forgiveness. Jesus ate with tax collectors. I'm hurt.

0.0001 Years

2009-07-08T23:37:00.002+08:00

Whether it's prolonging sex before ejaculation, or waiting for marriage(or at least a sufficiently serious relationship), delayed gratification usually results in much greater joy.

I realized I've wrote myself into a corner at the very first sentence; such that I can't continue without either admitting I'm awful in the sack or be seen as bragging. But I'm sure you people get my drift. I hope.

Mother

2009-07-08T22:36:00.004+08:00

There is no question that my mum spoils me. I wake up during my stays with her to find breakfast laid out neatly in what appears to be a mahogany tray, complete with two glasses - one containing fresh milk, the other juice. I walk to the bathroom for a shower and I see a fresh towel, boxers, and the clothes she picked out for me to wear for the day. By the time I am done showering, I enter my room to find my bed made and a pair of socks lying on the covers.

Yes, my mum spoils me. She's also extremely protective and is suspicious of any remote harm that might possibly befall me. The metro in Shanghai she deemed too confusing for me to navigate; this despite me having survived subways in Toronto, Chicago, New York and London. She gave me a little pocket map, and went over with me at least thrice the route I should take to get to where I was going, and how to get home, interjecting her sentences with "so troublesome".

And that's only the infrastructure. She's worried too that I might get knocked down when I cross the road, or pick-pocketed as I made my way around. "Watch out for pick-pockets" or "Watch your belongings" is something she says to me at least four times a day, and when she catches me putting a wallet in my back pocket she'll frown and indicate my front pocket instead.

To my mum, her son's made of marshmallows. She calls me when I'm out and tells me that it's raining heavily. She comes out to the station, ready to meet me with an umbrella least I get wet. She's worried I would get sick, and told me in all seriousness not to share drinks with friends. She's worried I would become an alcoholic, yet opens a bottle of beer for me at home during dinner because she knows I enjoy drinking.

Yes, folks, I'm spoiled rotten. The thing is, I don't live with my mum. Since the age of 4, I've been spending an average of of three weeks with her per year, with the duration decreasing after my teenage years. As a general rule, mum seems to perceive me to be half my actual age, subtracting a couple of years for good measure.

As I was growing up, she pampered and fussed over me to no end, and as a kid growing up more or less independently, it got on my nerves. We fought at least once a year, usually because I was impatient with her coddling and demanded to have my way or for her to stop treating me like a baby. Such fights usually ended with either or both of us in tears. I can only imagine, in retrospect, the amount of anguish I must have caused her. In attempting to assert some form of masculinity and maturity, I broke her heart.

Things took a turn for the better during the Shanghai visit before my Canada exchange. She was, naturally, worried sick that I was going halfway around the world and even more worried that I intended to drive. She asked incessantly about why I had to insist on driving, and whether I knew what I was doing, whether I was going to get lost/robbed/killed/get hooked on drugs/flunk out of school .. etc. I started ignoring her and would chat happily on msn while she talked to me. She flipped, and it wasn't a pretty sight.

I looked at her and realised that I had been a selfish, immature prick and that this woman in tears was probably the one woman who loved me more than she loved herself. I apologized, immediately. I then explained that I could take care of myself and that her nagging insults my self-perceived intellect and capability. She responded by saying I would understand how a parent feels when I have kids of my own, and that she nags me to make herself feel better, to assure herself that she's doing her part to keep her kid safe and happy.

At the risk of airing dirty laundry in public, I shall let on that my mum has been carrying around an immense burden of guilt - guilt at having "abandoned" her young son and missing out on his childhood. I understand that all these over-pampering and worrying is in one part due to her innate nature to worry, but largely due to her need to compensate for lost time. To cut the long story short, I told her that it is unfortunate that she largely missed my childhood, but the fact was that she was now mother to a 23 year old and not a 4 year old and so should focus on being a good mother to the 23 year old. I, on the other hand, shall attempt as much as possible to let her do and say whatever makes her feel better without blowing my top.

Things have been going a lot smoother since then. I do admit that I still get irritated, and sometimes channel my irritation into sublime sarcasm, knowing that chances are she wouldn't get it. Most of the times though, things are good. I let her pamper me when I'm with her, let her wash my clothes however often she wish despite my firm belief that clothes that I've only slept in for a few hours are good for another night at least.

I don't flare up when she insists on carrying the heavier bags after a round of grocery shopping. Instead I point to her forearm, and mine and genially ask, "who do you think is stronger?", alternating sometimes with "you have a son, not a daughter, make use of him." I let her nag me as much as my expanded patience allows. When the limit is reached, instead of yelling, I put one arm around her and say something like "I Knowwwww, Mum.", and she replied once "Just let me say can?", to which I replied "I let you say 5 times, now's the 6th time, let me show some irritation can?". And we laugh. Yes, things are definitely getting better.

At the end of the day, I go to bed with the comforting knowledge that my mum loves me. I can't help the fact that she loses sleep worrying about whether her son will turn alcoholic, start smoking (ahem) , experiment with drugs (slight cough), or have liberal bed sharing values but I can show her - as much as I know how - that I love her.

Anyway, this post is a result of me missing my mum after a 8 days stay with her in Shanghai.

----------------
Now playing: Frank Sinatra - You'd Be So Easy To Love
via FoxyTunes

Michael Jackson

2009-06-26T06:45:00.001+08:00

I can't even say R.I.P cause I don't really believe in the dead resting in peace, but .. damn. What a shame. What a shame.

The semi-charmed life.

2009-06-26T05:15:00.002+08:00

The game of tag, or in local context, catching, seems to me to be an exploitation of our innate fear of loneliness. A kid - the "catcher" - runs after the rest of the kids, aiming to tag one of them; usually the slowest of the lot. The kid tagged assumes the role of the catcher while his predecessor joins the rest of the group.

We loathe to be the catcher, preferring instead to be part of the herd and not the solitary, friendless hunter. The first catcher is picked at random (in most cases apart from obvious bullying circles where the least popular guy is always assigned the role) and the subsequent ones usually the slower runners. As such, the rest of the group laugh at the futile attempts of the catcher to tag them and in the process, bond.

I observe similar dynamics in other groups. People in hall gossip, laugh and poke fun of certain groups or individuals. In cliques, there's bound to be an individual who's either stupider, uglier or just different from the rest, and he too is often the subject of many unedifying conversations.

While in no way condoning such behavior, I must admit that it is for the most part, human nature. There are crueler deviations though, and those mildly disgust me. Just as how in a game of tag, the stronger and faster among us might mock the catcher, standing stationary or extending a hand only to swiftly withdraw and turn away when he draws near, similar phenomenons can be seen in social groups. The examples are too many to list, and I'm no sociology student, so I won't go there. (In fact I'm not even sure of the purpose of this exercise, but I'm bored and shall go on.)

It's kinda hypocritical for me to be talking about this issue, eh. So, let me be honest. I've said to whoever is unlucky enough to be within earshot that if a person's ugly, he/she better be smart, and if the person's stupid, he/she better be doing well in the aesthetics department. That's of course an over-simplification, but the general logic remains. I cannot stand to be in the company of ugly and stupid girls. If they're ugly, stupid, but quiet, fine. But if they're ugly, stupid, loud and whiny then it gets on my nerves and I generally ignore them if they leave me alone.

People often have redeeming qualities though. An ugly girl might have a heart of gold, and an ugly guy be incredibly nice. That said, I can't help but wonder sometimes whether these qualities exist to compensate for their lack of physical attractiveness. For example, an realistic guy will look in the mirror and tell himself that his looks are not going to get him anywhere so he better be a bloody nice guy. Or at least appear to be a bloody nice guy.

With some effort, anybody can be reasonably attractive. Wit and humor can be cultivated, hair can be properly cut and styled, physiques can be developed, and good hearts either faked or nurtured. Same goes for other auxiliary traits like intellect, musical, sporting skills. The only excuse for going through life as an unattractive, ugly and stupid slob is sloth.

Some people are lucky and born with gifts and talents that make their lives easier. Others should do a little self-reflection and make appropriate adjustments.

I, for one, shall strive to be a little nicer; which is a pretty ironic statement when you consider this entry. Haha.

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Now playing: Third Eye Blind - Semi Charmed Life
via FoxyTunes

A Spinning Coin

2009-06-23T00:36:00.002+08:00

It's an awful lot easier to be yourself, when you're by yourself. Alone with your thoughts you can be anybody you want to be. It's when we're with people who know us that it is difficult. People form impressions of you, and it's that side of you that they expect to see when you meet them.

You'll expect someone fond of beer to suggest hitting a watering hole, and a superficial friend to laugh at the whale in shimmery pink leggings. People won't expect a person they know as an animal lover to kick a passing stray, or a deeply committed boyfriend to start waxing lyrical about a passing girl's ass. In an almost subconscious response, you conform to such preconceived notions of yourself which in turn further reinforces the impression your friends have of you.

It might have been worth a couple buckets of laughter, but I'm tired.

If there is indeed an end, this is the beginning of that end.

Wow

2009-06-07T16:39:00.002+08:00

I logged onto the ns.sg, the national service portal to apply for an exit permit and guess what, the stored userid/password in firefox didn't work. I found that strange, so clicked on "forget password" and the site returned that my account did not exist.

Strange, eh? No worries, I tried signing up again with my previous userid, and whoah I got this:

"The selected user ID is blacklisted, please choose another one."

They deleted my account cause they hated my user ID.

It was "safstinks".

Falling

2009-06-03T02:25:00.002+08:00

I did a little experiment last night while lying in bed moments before slumber overtook me. I imagined falling off the top of a building with a parachute that will only activate if I come out with something resembling poetry.

In my mind I saw myself yelling out phrases that I hope would come together and make up a poem. I made it, and actually thought it pretty good. But as soon as I tried entering it into the phone, I forgot most of it.

This is the last line:

Such is the reflection of a fractured soul
that half should weep
while the other stays cold

Random Observations

2009-06-02T02:24:00.004+08:00

Have you ever noticed that folks inept at sarcasm tend to start their attempts with "oh" and will probably throw in a "well" for good measure somewhere in between?

On a side note, I found Terminator Salvation to be at times boring, mostly unexciting, largely meaningless and lacking huge doses of logic. For one, I'm sure some compatibility tests have to be done before conducting heart transplants.

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Now playing: Frightened Rabbit - Be Less Rude
via FoxyTunes

Fuck Conscription.

2009-06-01T01:55:00.004+08:00

Girl: I think we're too old for all of you!

Me: Really? How old are you?

Girl: 25.

Me: What, I'm 25 too.

Girl: Bullshit, you're 19.

Me: (Wtf) 1984? Year of the Rat?

Girl: *stares suspiciously* I'm a doctor.

Me: ...

Cure for Boredom

2009-05-30T17:07:00.003+08:00

I am bored half shitless, and if you're here you're probably just as bored, so here's something to perk you up.

One ordinary evening when I was on the NEL going to ClimbAsia, I received this utterly shocking text from a recently acquainted female (RAF):

RAF: FUCK YOU AND FUCK OFF.

Me: That's the most shocking text i've ever received. What's the matter?

RAF: Stop making up your goddamn lies and be a man for once.

Me: Qualify your statements. What angers you so? You'll feel better cursing me for specifics.

RAF: I don't need any reasons. I'm done.

Me: Okay have a good life.

RAF: You're telling me so many lies I don't know what to believe.

Me: You have to be a lot more specific if you want a useful response.

RAF: Details make things more messy [sic]. But you should know what you've done.

Me: Hm, okay.

RAF: Stop being such a bastard and do something productive. Bye.

Me: I'm climbing :) bye.

RAF: Yeah whatever. I hope you fall down, you ungrateful leech.

Me: Huh do i owe you money? You're starting to irritate me. If you won't make it clear then so be it.

RAF: No you don't. If you think you're innocent then prove it.

Me: Define "it" for the love of all things remotely holy. You're pissing me off.

RAF: It's the photos! You took the photos didn't you?

Me: What photos are you talking about. I didn't bring a camera. (note: on the night she was referring to)

RAF: Yea I know. Fuck. Forget it.

Ta-dah. Confused? So was I. I learnt later that RAF thought I took photos of her during her moments of indiscretion in a certain club using her friend's camera. Amazing eh? This is classic scold-first-ask-later. There are sequels to this episode, but I don't have logs.

Anonymous

2009-05-30T01:05:00.004+08:00

"Imagine, perhaps, for a moment that you do not know me. That this blog is just one among millions that you happened to stumble upon. Then, maybe then, I can tell you about the slippery slope, the attempts at redemption, the slammed doors and the continued downward spiral. Heck, it might even be funny every now and then.

I would bare my soul, cast aside the masks and maybe you'll catch a little glimpse of what's lurks far beneath the surface.

The universe conspires to help you achieve whatever your heart desires. Pine for true love, and you'll find it. Chase after the wind, and it's the wind you get. At least that was what a friend was trying to put across earlier today. Straight out of a page from The Alchemist.

Perhaps I need a painting in the attic to bear the sins of my bunburying after the wind. Perhaps I need to conceal and learn that there's good reason why people lie and that the honest truth isn't always appreciated. Alternatively, of course, I could peel off the entire rake persona and chuck it in the attic in place of the painting.

Could there be depth and sincerity in place of barbed retorts and shallow wit? I content by saying the worthy see both. But the world at large is irresistibly drawn towards the one-dimensional. They see the rising and ignore the other houses, they eagerly devour the auguries of the sun while turning a deaf ear to gentle murmurs of the other planets.

The persona of the rake is so developed the vessel's lost without him. What was once a crutch has seized the reins of life. The rake succeeds where the vessel fails. He is strong when the other is weak. The rake charms and cajoles and so twists honesty it becomes almost deceit.

The rake, is not me. At least not yet."

Is this better than the previous post, Grace? I at least, think it's slightly better written. Haha.

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Now playing: Miniature Tigers - Cannibal Queen
via FoxyTunes

For the Love of Lust

2009-05-25T03:09:00.003+08:00

I need to write, before the extended hiatus becomes a permanent one when I find that the words no longer flow. And if I am to write, what better topic than one touching on Love and its inseparable companion - Lust. Of course the Love to which I refer to is Romantic Love involving a significant other with whom you're - hopefully - in a relationship with.

Where shall I begin? Ah yes, about how a healthy relationship cannot survive without either one of the two Ls. Lust, without love, leaves only emptiness once sated while love without lust can only be described as platonic.

Whether the lust within the confines of a relationship is allowed to run rampant or is restrained by certain artificial boundaries is immaterial. In a relationship you've to lust - or in more delicate terms - be sexually drawn towards your partner.

The afterglow - the absence or presence of which reflects that of love.

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Now playing: David Cook - Billie Jean
via FoxyTunes

Wong "Post-Situation Nostradamus" Kan Seng

2009-05-08T22:05:00.001+08:00

15 April 2009
The ISD Intelligence Service Promotion Ceremony - Speech By Mr Wong Kan Seng, Deputy Prime Minister & Minister For Home Affairs, 15 April 2009

It has been and continues to be a testing time for the Department. I understand that at one time or another, officers from all the various commands have been deployed to work on the case which for some, involved taking on an entirely new type of assignment for the first time in their career. I have been regularly updated on the Department’s efforts to track Mas Selamat Kastari down. I have no doubt of your determination. I have confidence that with patience – which has always been a virtue of the Department – we will recapture him. The keen sense of fellowship and camaraderie among ISD officers, of being one family through thick and thin, that I have seen particularly during this trying episode, will see you through this, and make all of you even stronger.

Most importantly, I am happy to see that ISD officers have not allowed the setback to dishearten or distract you from your mission of countering the multi-faceted security threats we face. Even as you continue to hunt for Mas Selamat Kastari, you have been equally unrelenting in monitoring and tackling other security threats, at times, I know, stretching yourselves beyond the limits.

-

The above was on 15th of April, 14 days after the arrest of Mas Selamat:

Wong said this here today as his ministry confirmed the arrest of Mas Selamat, saying the terrorist had been arrested by the Malaysian Special Branch police on April 1.

What happened? Did the Malaysian authorities not bother informing the Singaporean authorities? That can't be, for they - supposedly - acted upon leads provided by the Singaporean Internal Security Department who have a "long standing co-operative cordial relationship" with the Malaysian Special Branch.

Give me a fucking break.

And I can just see how this might get an "F" grade and a "See me. Out of point." remark:

Q: How do you feel, how does ISD feel, now that it took Malaysia's help to have Mas Selamat arrested?

"I'm glad that he is now arrested. We were informed of the arrest soon after the arrest by the Malaysians on the 1st of April and I also reported that to the Prime Minister. As I have said before, that so long as we can find some leads on him, some time or other, we will find him.

He was arrested by the Indonesians in Feb [January] 2003 arising from the leads developed by the ISD and shared with the Indonesians. Then he was released prematurely when he was serving his sentence in prison for an immigration offence.

And, again from ISD's leads which were shared with the Indonesians, the Indonesian Police arrested him in Jan 2006. Eventually, he was sent back to Singapore."

Hello, how do you feel NOW that it took MALAYSIA's help to have him arrested, not how you felt in 2003 when you needed Indonesia's help.

The Will

2009-04-30T02:26:00.002+08:00

Matthew 24:3-14 (New King James Version)

³ Now as He sat on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to Him privately, saying, “Tell us, when will these things be? And what will be the sign of Your coming, and of the end of the age?”

⁴ And Jesus answered and said to them: “Take heed that no one deceives you.

⁵ For many will come in My name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ and will deceive many.

⁶ And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not troubled; for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.

⁷ For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. And there will be famines, pestilences, and earthquakes in various places.

⁸ All these are the beginning of sorrows.

⁹ “Then they will deliver you up to tribulation and kill you, and you will be hated by all nations for My name’s sake.

¹⁰ And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another.

¹¹ Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many.

¹² And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold.

¹³ But he who endures to the end shall be saved.

¹⁴ And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in all the world as a witness to all the nations, and then the end will come.

-
It's a delicate balance, to live in society and yet to keep oneself apart from the world. Where does one draw the line between His-Will-Be-Done, and We-Have-To-Stop-This-In-His-Name? To what end do Christian organizations lobby against homosexuality?

Granted, biblical evidence do point towards homosexuality being a sin. Many other forms of sexual immorality, however, also are sins. I don't think God's too pleased with what happens in a club. He probably isn't too thrilled by the thriving enterprises along the seedier alleys of Singapore's favorite supper street. Prostitution's legalized. Perhaps there was a rally against it before its legalization, perhaps not.

Everything that happens, happens because God allows them to happen. Perhaps it's all just leading up to the end days. Maybe it's in His plan for some of His more fervent followers to take up arms and do it in such a contemptible fashion that even more hatred is incited against Christians, such that it would finally come to pass that all Christians are persecuted regardless of the cities or state that we live in.

Then we can all take to the mountains like a certain bearded fellow. That reminds me though; I'm sure some of you caught footage of the "Singaporean Terrorist" speaking Singlish. Kinda, funny, no?

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Now playing: Nelly Furtado - All Good Things (Come To An End)
via FoxyTunes

Faith

2009-04-23T02:47:00.004+08:00

How beautiful it must be
to trust
and to trust, completely.
to wonder not
about the thousand possible intricacies
carefully woven over one's eyes

To believe, to love
to adore with every beat
of one's bleeding heart.

I grasp at straws,
I chase the wind
To close the door
to shut the gates.

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Now playing: John Mayer - St. Patrick's Day
via FoxyTunes

The President's Pleasure

2009-04-21T14:15:00.001+08:00

I know I should be studying, but I came across this news article on the Straits Times that spoke about a youth being detained "until the President decides to release him". That sounded pretty cool; that the president has actual decision making responsibilities. And so I googled.

This was what I found on the Ministry of Home Affairs' page:

The President’s Pleasure Review Board (TPPRB)

The President's Pleasure Review Board (TPPRB) is appointed by the Minister for Home Affairs to review the cases of underaged prisoners who have been detained during the President's pleasure. The role of the Review Board is to assess the prisoners' suitability for release for recommendation to the Minister.

Ah so .. recommendation to the Minister, not the President. Seems like our esteemed President has nothing to do with the entire process.

2009-04-11T02:28:00.001+08:00

I don't like feeling dumb. And that's exactly how I feel right now. Not exactly the most pleasant feeling in the world and it's affecting my focus on other aspects of life like the very pressing issue of meeting project deadlines.

2009-04-03T02:27:00.002+08:00

To put pen to paper - or in modern day's context, to run fingers across the keyboard - calms in a certain fashion, a troubled mind and a heavy heart. There's something indescribably fascinating seeing words form on the screen, reading them and finding in them a comfortable meter.

It's unfortunate then to find that the words don't flow.

Sheares Dinner and Dance 2009

2009-04-01T00:06:00.000+08:00

"Singapore United"

2009-03-29T10:33:00.003+08:00

I saw a link titled "Singapore United" and for a second there thought it was some all-star S-league team (although I can imagine how picking out a team from comprising stars from the S-league wouldn't include many Singaporeans) but instead saw a cheerful picture of our esteemed leader and the tag line:

"PM Lee calls on Singaporeans to work together to find solutions to the crisis"

It's tragic but funny how Obama's campaign of "Hope" and "Change" came across as inspiring and apt while "Singapore United" triggered a mental scrolling marquee of "HAHAHHAHAHAHA". I guess I should be thankful that our politicians aren't superimposing their faces onto images of superheroes.

I googled "Singapore United", hoping that our much beloved government isn't intending to make this shit official and found, well, singaporeunited.sg complete with a logo in very gay(happy) colors, alternate letter sizes and a bear mascot named SUnny bear. SUnny bear. What. The. Fuck.

According to "SUnny Says" - or in less retarded terms, the FAQ section - Singapore United is the world's highest paid, respected, and adored governement's effort at community engagement to maintain harmony, started in response to terrorist threats. That would mean that either our esteemed leader or our factual and nonpartisan press is reusing the term "Singapore United". My humble and most unqualified advice is, Please Don't.

SUnny says that:

"Should a bomb explode in Singapore, we are not sure how the rest of Singapore will react to the incident and to each other. In this regard, our leaders saw the need to further strengthen the social and psychological resilience of Singaporeans, not just at the local level, but at broader levels and across other segments of our society too."

Maybe they can give out SUnny bears. That should be comforting. They already have a theme song, located under, gasp, "Fun Stuff" and named *Singapore* United. No, I didn't add in the asterisks. When did they create this brilliant piece of crap, the 90s?

Anyway, more about the musical masterpiece. Here's the description:

Music moves people and bonds them together. As the Community Engagement Programme (CEP) moves into its third year, we want to harness the power of music to draw people together, to build networks of trust, and be prepared.

With this in mind, a Singapore United theme song has been specially composed by the Deputy Director of Music, Insp Sulaiman Bin Abdul Wahab, of the Singapore Police Force Band. Sung by Sgt Audi Hariz Bin Sarman and Sgt Emiliah Binte Senin of the Police Force Band, the song made its debut at the National CEP Seminar on 3 May.

We thank Prof Jeremy Monteiro for his suggestion in 2006 to use music to bond people.

Use music to bond people. Bond people. Composed and sung by members of the police. Awesome. Someone listen to it and let me know how bad it is? Wait, that's negativity. Listen and tell me how good it is.

I downloaded the lyrics but it's in non text selectable pdf format. I guess they didn't want people to easily lift their work of genius. As a community service though I shall reproduce parts of their well thought out, reassuring and heartwarming lyrics:

We live in a place where there is harmony
A home where there is peace and hope for everyone
Where we unite as One

If time must come when we face trying or troubled times
Unite no matter what's our race or what's our faith
Together hand in hand

Chorus:

Singapore United
We will strive for our vision and hopes
Together we'll achieve
Our goals for Singapore

Singapore United
Let our hearts all beat as one
Many minds, singing in one voice
Together Singapore!

Ok, read the rest yourselves. It's too painful. I pray we'll never be bombed; I don't want this flooding the airwaves. Ever.

Singapore United, eh? Give me a fucking break.

Something funny

2009-03-24T18:55:00.003+08:00

Something funny happened when I was walking through the central forum today

Guy: "Hi, we're from _______ and we're trying to promote moderate drinking among students."

Me: "hahahaha"

Guy: "Would you like to support our cause?"

Me: "But I like to drink a lot!"

Guy: "Er, never mind then."

In retrospect, maybe they were trying to get non-drinkers to start drinking moderately. But then again, this is NUS, and in Singapore. Who am I trying to kid.

One of my favorite sites has been blocked by local ISPs. No worries though, we can still access it at their temporary location here. So much for liberalizing, eh.

One Step Closer

2009-03-24T11:38:00.001+08:00

One step closer to Armageddon :D

"China’s central bank on Monday proposed replacing the US dollar as the international reserve currency with a new global system controlled by the International Monetary Fund.

In an essay posted on the People’s Bank of China’s website, Zhou Xiaochuan, the central bank’s governor, said the goal would be to create a reserve currency “that is disconnected from individual nations and is able to remain stable in the long run, thus removing the inherent deficiencies caused by using credit-based national currencies”." - FT.com

Unscheduled?

2009-03-17T19:03:00.001+08:00

I got the following email in my NUS mailbox:

Dear Students,

There will be an unscheduled system maintenance on (Sat) 21 March 2009, 8pm to (Sun) 22 March 2009, 1am.

During this period, Email Archival Service will not be available. If you try to retrieve archived emails from your mailboxes, you may receive an error message box as follows:

.. .. blah blah blah .. ..

This maintenance is necessary for NUSmail service stability.

-

I don't see how this is unscheduled.

If I Could

2009-03-12T02:26:00.002+08:00

I would write about love;
blissful love.
About one whose hand
I gingerly hold,
whose lips
mine gently brush.

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Now playing: Radiohead - Fake Plastic Trees
via FoxyTunes

Dumb

2009-03-10T04:05:00.004+08:00

I was telling Japheth a couple of days ago that I've not had an ulcer since secondary school.

Fast forward to 3mins ago and you see me drinking from a bottle of Meiji milk that I keep in the fridge in the pantry.

You know the foil that they use to seal the mouth of the bottle? I peeled it only halfway back cause I was lazy to throw the foil away. The reduced exposure of the mouth caused increased suction that resulted in the milk spilling a little after I took a swig. My response was to jerk the bottle swiftly downwards and well, it hit the top of the refrigerator door, jamming the mouth of the bottle into my upper lip.

How smart, eh.

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Now playing: The Doors - Love street
via FoxyTunes

Rebuttal of sorts

2009-03-04T01:26:00.003+08:00

Apparently, Jeryd had a little friendly gender-related debate with a female friend of his. Yes, I know, I was surprised Jeryd still talks to female friends too :D:D okay, kidding bro.

I was never a fan of such debates. It's crazy to stereotype an entire gender. You can say all smurfs are blue, but you can't say all girls take an hour to bathe, or that all guys love soccer, right? I'll do it for him anyway though ..

Here are the points i'm supposed to respond to (starts from 2, so I assume he handled point1):

2) Why is it that you never carry bags... then when you meet us, you ask whether you can put your stuff in our bags??

I've to compliment this girl on being, I assume, a girl who carries her own bags. Few things in this world are sillier than a girl spending $600ish on a tiny LV or Coach bag only to have it dangle off the shoulder of her muscular boyfriend. For the love of God, you buy the bag because it looks pretty ON you and not your boyfriend.

Guys will usually cheerfully help you out with a couple of heavy textbooks, or a notebook computer, but getting him to carry a ladies bag is just wrong. Of course, being loving and all, we wouldn't want our girlfriend to suffer, so guys, bring a relatively empty bag, and dump her stuff in it. You don't look like a sissy, she doesn't look like she's emasculating her boyfriend, she's freed of her load, and you pull chivary off without looking like a pussy. Everybody wins.

Back to the question though. Do you girls know how difficult it is for guys to get a bag that doesn't make him look like a school kid nor a gay? I know some guys dig the whole metrosexual look and will gladly carry bags that look suspiciously effeminate, but personally, it turns my stomach. I've been guilty of going out clutching a book in hand, and depositing it in a lady friend's handbag. Shrug, I'm sorry I guess. I can afford neither a car, nor a nice unschoolboyungay looking bag.

3) Why must you insist on checking out other girls in front of us, then deny it and insist you were only staring at her because she looks like your friend?

I seem to remember the excuse being circulated many years ago but didn't know it was still in use. Haha, quite a good one eh? A muttered "I think I know that girl from somewhere..." should be pretty safe :D

When I'm out with a girlfriend or someone I'm really interested in though, my field of vision extends from somewhere beyond her left ear to somewhere beyond her right ear. In other words, I don't oogle at girls when I'm out on a date. At least, not consciously :)

An alternative would be to point out both hot guys and hot girls. Maybe that would work.

4) Why is it that you can wake up in the wee hours of the morning to watch soccer but can't wake up early to go for breakfast with us?

I don't wake up in the wee hours of the morning to watch soccer but guys can't rotate the earth; it's not our fault the matches are played in the middle of the night. It's passion, you know. And it's a live telecast, so unlike your sappy korean/taiwanese/japanese dramas, catching it on youtube at our leisure doesn't really work.

Breakfast, eh? How bout you spend the night at your boyfriend's place, then wake him up in the morning? He sleeps like a log you say? Get creative, use incentives. Positive incentives, k.

5) Why do you always want to appear so macho, but then groan when we ask you to help carry our shopping bags?

I was told that a major perk of shopping is to actually CARRY the brand-labeled bags so the world knows where you've been shopping and how lucky you are to be able to shop as much as you did. Or maybe having a pack mule carry your shopping is kinda empowering in a way.

That being said, I don't think any of my friends have a problem carrying their girlfriend's shopping. And none of us make too much of an effort to appear macho. Jeryd, maybe your friend needs to fine tune her boyfriend selection criteria :D

Here's a suggestion though. Shop more at places like la senza, and your boyfriend might gleefully carry your shopping for you - perhaps even with a blissful smile on his face.

(where's 6!)

7) Why is it that you spend so much on electronic equipment, but make so much noise when we buy clothes, shoes and bags?

Spend on whatever you want, just don't whine about being poor after that. Unless you're spending the boyfriend's money .. then that's something else altogether. Haha.

Okay, done :D

I should be studying, man.

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Now playing: The Doors - Love street
via FoxyTunes

Fight or Flight

2009-03-02T01:49:00.005+08:00

Some battles are worth fighting.

Some causes are worth dying for.

In cases like that you dig your boots in and tighten the grip on your sword.

And then there are times where the odds are so hopelessly stacked against you it makes little sense to do anything other than run.

So you run.

I know. An African American became the President of arguably the world's most powerful country with the slogan "Yes We Can." but then again, he went to Harvard.

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Now playing: Ben Folds - Still fighting It
via FoxyTunes

First Class Sarcasm

2009-03-01T16:45:00.000+08:00

I stumbled upon this blog post:

"

Today’s Straits Times Forum published a letter from the Government Whip, Mr Lim Swee Say on the attendance of Members of Parliament for this year’s Budget Debate. The letter is reproduced below:

The Straits Times, Feb 28, 2009
PAP MPs IN PARLIAMENT
Duties taken seriously
I REFER to Miss Rhea Tan’s letter on Wednesday, ‘Why so many empty seats at Budget Debate?’

I would like to assure Miss Tan that PAP MPs take Parliament sittings seriously. They have to seek the Speaker’s permission in writing to be absent from a sitting. They also have to inform the Government Whip if they are unable to attend Parliament on time or have to leave early.

For the Budget Debate, Parliament sits from noon to 7pm. This year’s Budget Debate was attended by 90 elected and Nominated MPs on Feb 3; 86 MPs on Feb4; and there was full attendance of 93 MPs on Feb 5.

While PAP MPs are expected to be in Parliament, they are not able to stay in the Chamber for the whole seven hours. They need to leave the Chamber from time to time for lunch and breaks, to do research and revise their speeches in the library as the debate progresses, and to attend urgent calls and meetings which they are unable to reschedule. The Government Whip ensures there is sufficient quorum in the House at all times.

So even if MPs are not in the Chamber, it does not mean they are not in Parliament or not carrying out their duties as MPs. The effectiveness of PAP MPs should not be judged by the hours they remain seated in the Chamber but by their participation in debates, the contents of their speeches and how well they serve their constituents.

Lim Swee Say
Government Whip

It’s seemed to be a routine letter but if you take a deeper look, it said that “there was full attendance of 93 MPs on Feb 5“. A quick check on the parliament website showed that we have indeed 93 MPs in total.

But wait!!! I thought Mr Seng Han Thong was hospitalised after the vicious attack? News report showed that he was only discharged on 7 Feb. So that means that he attended the all important budget debate on 5 Feb despite being on hospitalisation leave.

How could the act of this dedicated and responsible MP go unreported in the mainstream media? Hats off to Mr Seng who showed tremedous courage to attend the parliament session despite obviously still recovering from the horrendous attack. Mr Seng is my idol!"

-Taken From http://thetimeisnowsg.wordpress.com/2009/02/28/mr-seng-han-thong-is-so-garang/

Defense

2009-02-27T21:54:00.004+08:00

I had a conversation about God with my drinking buddies, and found the entire affair extremely exhausting. At least it was with a group of friends who, aren't dumb, to say the least. Nothing's more tiring than being forced to argue with a fool.

Being the only Christian at the table is an obligation to defend Christianity, and God. I find God much easier to defend than Christianity, which no thanks to its over-enthusiastic and often misguided followers, has a reputation a zillion times worse than, say, mine.

I understand the need for Christians to evangelize, especially to their loved ones. We taste the joy and relief in finding God, in walking with Him, and we want our family and friends to experience the same benefits. It's a life transforming moment; surrendering one's mind, heart, and soul to God, believing that He knows best, and being enveloped by His love.

And then there's the friend who sees you doing things that he thinks are an utter waste of time. It's also in your interest that he tries to dissuades you from your faith with the usual arguments like evolution, how Christianity is nothing but a mash-up of pagan religions, how the bible's written by man ... the list goes on.

It's an argument that can never be convincingly won by either side. He who doesn't experience God will never know God. It's not something you can logically quantify. Heck, I'm of the opinion that even Evolution requires several leaps of faith.

Perhaps that's why the apostle Paul in his finite but significant wisdom suggests that believers not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has light with darkness? On the other hand, the term "unequally yoked" need not refer specially to relationships, but might convincingly be argued to apply to friendship as well. But if you don't befriend the unbelievers how do you reach out to them? So does one maintain a wary fellowship with them? It doesn't add up. Many things don't.

Jesus said to love thy God your Lord with all your heart, your soul and your mind. And to love your neighbour as thyself. That's enough. Everything else will come naturally. Tongues, confessions to priests, deliverance, being overwhelmed by the power of the Holy Ghost, healing, and the whole works are .. immaterial, and points of needless contention.

Believe that Man sinned and fell short of the glory of God. Believe that God sent Jesus to die in our place, and that the only way to God is through belief in this truth. Love God. Love your neighbours. Ignore everything else, defend nothing else. Even the concept of the Trinity is unimportant to me. To what material extent does it matter whether God, the Son, and the Holy Ghost are at once seperate and the same? As Angela would put it, it's immaterial.

Me being called on to defend my faith is akin to getting me to expound on the virtues of alcohol abstinence, but I will do it.

Because I believe. I know my life's a stellar example of debauchery instead of a bright and salty testimonial for God. Yes, I have said it. So don't call me a hypocrite; anything but that.

I saw this on a girl's facebook profile though, and it's actually pretty good:

"A girl's heart must be hidden deeply within God, such that a Man must find God to find her heart."

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Now playing: Philips, Craig, and Dean - When God Ran
via FoxyTunes

Forex FAIL

2009-02-27T12:28:00.002+08:00

Half a Step Closer

2009-02-24T11:44:00.000+08:00

Dear all

NUS OVERSEAS COLLEGES, JUL 2009 INTAKE

Congratulations! We are pleased to inform you that you have been selected for the NUS College in Silicon Valley (NCSV) JUL 2009 Intake.

Please note that no request for change of college will be entertained.

Do note that your successful placement on the program will be subject to you obtaining an internship placement with a company at the respective colleges, a visa or any permit, to be medically fit and a final review of your CAP prior to your departure.

Creep

2009-02-24T01:03:00.004+08:00

And now we know
it's not always possible
to come out smelling of roses.

Sometimes people get hurt;
and it's not the fragrance of flowers
that lingers
but the sordid stench,
of manure.

----------------
Now playing: Radiohead - High And Dry
via FoxyTunes

Malay Malaysian man gets nut stuck around his member

2009-02-22T16:22:00.003+08:00

Kayan women wear neck rings and end up with elongated necks that are supposedly the benchmark of beauty - at least in their culture.

Universal culture though, seem to favor men with members of significant size, so in an unselfish if not somewhat dim-witted display of True Love, a Malay man in Malaysia attempted to enlarge his member before his engagement by putting a nut around it. In fact, he might have been on his way to putting multiple nuts around it had he not found the sensation of a metal nut around his member so incredibly arousing he got an erection. Ouch.

Incredibly dumb though. Read about it here.

Rockets and Meteors

2009-02-21T01:53:00.001+08:00

Finally broke even :D

He speaks!!!

2009-02-18T11:07:00.004+08:00

Check this out man, our esteemed president speaks about something material.

Remember how our budget this year comprises past reserves? And that in Singapore, in order for the government to draw from the reserves, they need the permission of the President? It's supposed to be some kind of safeguard against a rogue government misappropriating the reserves.

The argument was that the procedures following the President's decision to "turn the second key" and allow access to the reserves were not published and it seemed that our dear President merely did what the government told him to do. Even if that was true, it should come as no surprise. I remember being told in lower secondary the reason why we study history - to not repeat mistakes of others.

Anyway, now the President has spoken up:

"It is not easy to say 'yes' in so far as the withdrawal of the reserves go. There must be compelling reasons why we have to resort to withdrawing from past reserves," the president said.

and

"But I have the advice of the Council of Presidential Advisers, which I have to pay regard to. And we started the process of consulting together and I then left it to them to deliberate on their own and give me their recommendations, which were consistent with what I had felt I should do."

Now who on earth are on the Council of Presidential Advisers? If the President acts on the advice of his advisers and the President's role is to safeguard the reserves from potentially rogue governments, then it makes sense that the council be made up of wholly independent members, yes?

Let's see who these important people are:

The 1991 Constitutional Amendment also provided for the establishment of a Council of Presidential Advisers (CPA) to advise the President. It is obligatory for the President to consult the Council before he vetoes the budgets of the Government and key government-linked bodies and the appointments of government nominees to key posts.

Obligatory? I wonder if the constitution allows for the President to listen to the advice of the council, process it, then decide on something else.

The Council comprises six members and two alternate members. Two members are appointed by the President at his discretion, two are the Prime Minister's nominees, one is the Chief Justice's nominee and one is the nominee of the Chairman of the Public Service Commission. One alternate member is appointed by the President at his discretion while the other is appointed by the President on the advice of the Prime Minister, in consultation with the Chief Justice and Chairman of Public Service Commission.

Ok let's see, two members appointed by Our Dear President at his discretion, so far so good. Two appointed by the Prime Minister, er, oookay. So a rogue PM would be able to appoint two goons. Now, Chairman of the Public Service Commission - typically ex-government. I'm lazy to elaborate on the rest, but you get the idea. Appointed by President on the advice of the Prime Minister. That cracks me up a little though.

Members are appointed on a six-year term on their first appointment. They are eligible for re-appointment for further terms of 4 years each. Alternate members are appointed on a four-year term. The present Chairman, Mr J Y Pillay is also the Chairman of the Singapore Exchange Limited. As Chairman of the Council of Presidential Advisers, Mr Pillay exercises the functions of the office of the President in the absence of the President. If he is unavailable, this duty then falls on the Speaker of Parliament.

All's good though, according to our President:

At the end of the day, Mr Nathan said the system was tested and he has responded to the urgency of the situation after clinically examining the government's proposal to use past reserves to battle the economic downturn.

Loved and Trusted:

Although a Straits Times survey showed that nearly 80 per cent of Singaporeans hoped for a contest, Nathan nonetheless took up office unopposed as President on August 18, 1999. His nomination was strongly supported by Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew (then holding the post of Senior Minister). He succeeded the fifth President of Singapore Ong Teng Cheong and was sworn in on September 1, 1999.

On July 12, 2005, Nathan announced that he was seeking re-election as President. He submitted an eligibility application to the Presidential Elections Committee; by August 6, 2005, three more people had also submitted forms, but on August 13, 2005, the Committee announced that the other three applicants had been rejected as ineligible. Nathan returned unopposed on nomination day, August 17, 2005. He was sworn in for a second term of office on September 1, 2005.

A little something on 38KKK boobs

2009-02-16T14:08:00.001+08:00

Yup, that's me. MSN interview.

Xkcd

2009-02-15T02:32:00.002+08:00

I stumbled upon this comic site today. Strictly for geeks though.

Happy Valentine's

2009-02-15T00:04:00.002+08:00

It's four minutes after Valentine's day, actually.

It's the day where you see couples walking around in cheesy matching outfits, hugging at the bus stop, holding hands on the escalator and effectively blocking traffic, happy girls clutching bouquets and stealing glances at the bouquets other girls have.

I remember buying a single rose for a girlfriend once. It cost me ten dollars. And said girlfriend was angry because it was only that, a single rose, while other girls happily clutched huge bouquets. It's not an issue of the size of one's heart, but the size of one's wallet.

Mum sent me a valentine's day ecard. Sweet, eh? I remember how she used to send me cards through the mail when I was in primary school. Nothing like mummy's love (and nagging) :)

While we're on the topic of Love, here's an interesting article. Now we know why good night kisses sometimes progress to something a lot more exciting.

Celebrate Love :)

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Now playing: Cast Of Rent/Jesse L. Martin/Tracie Thoms - Seasons Of Love
via FoxyTunes

Wine-ed

2009-02-14T14:58:00.003+08:00

My first thought upon waking this morning was - "Why am I wearing my watch?". Next, I realized I had a contact lens in my right eye, and that there was a fragrance of dried vomit over me. I reached into my back pocket, and found a squashed pack of fags; which incidentally, I have no recollection buying.

What happened to me? Freeflow wine, and Kiasu-ism.

Winebos over at clark quay has an excellent promotion - $18++ for freeflow wine and tapas from 6pm to 8pm.

Wine, however, gets to me really, really quickly. And hits awfully hard. I don't even remember paying, which means I must have been wasted even before we left the place. Apparently I went berserk, falling over everywhere, throwing stuff around(including my phone, which ended up with Boyan), yelling, and wrestling Kenneth to the ground. I hear he has a gash on his palm. Poor guy.

I never knew I was a violent drunk. And I never, never expected to be such a lightweight. I was the only one drunk. I had what, 6, or maybe 7 glasses of wine. 3 Reds, and hm .. I think 5 whites. So that makes 8 glasses of wine. Me, drunk over so little alcohol. Embarrasing.

And I scrapped my knees. No more sculling wine.

Oh, and incidentally, I missed the submission for an assignment. Got a friendly email today:

Dear Shaun,

I have not received your submission on Friday. Please let me know when I can expect it.

Pls send it both to Workbin and by e-mail, so that I know it’s been sent.

Thanks.

(Prof's name here)

To which I replied:

Dear Sir,

I have just uploaded the assignment to the workbin. Am also attaching it to this email for your convenience.

I sincerely apologized for the delay in submission. To be perfectly honest, I went for a wine and tapas buffet last evening and got a little too enthusiastic in drinking. Got drunk and only woke up a short while ago. Sorry, won't happen again!

Best Regards
Shaun Lim

$58 Billion

2009-02-12T15:35:00.002+08:00

2007:

“For people in government like me, having to deal with these sums of money which we have accumulated through the sweat of our brow over the last 40 years, you have to pay the market rate. And then you’ve got an incompetent man and you’ve lost money, by the billions. So get a sense of proportion.” - MM Lee Kuan Yew

2009:

The state-owned investment company’s assets were valued at S$127 billion ($85 billion), down from S$185 billion at the end of March last year, Lim Hwee Hua, senior minister of state with the finance ministry, said today. - Bloomberg

-
But of course, before that particular announcement in parliament:

Chief Executive Officer Ho Ching, who drove Temasek’s expansion with acquisitions in China, Europe and the U.S., said last week that former BHP Billiton Ltd. head Chip Goodyear will take over the company in October.

Check out the WayangParty for more.

This is how you royally screw.

2009-02-11T19:52:00.003+08:00

Christian Bale doing in real life what Tom Cruise did on Tropic Thunder:

Our health minister wants us to send our parents to JB

2009-02-11T11:43:00.005+08:00

These hard times must be especially difficult for our world class ministers. In fact, I think the stress is so getting to them that they're starting to sprout nonsense. Maybe not exactly illogical but not something you'll want published by the local press when you hope to get re-elected right? Maybe they need a vacation in France.

First there was Charles Chong and his "lesser mortals" remark, and now we have the people's favorite minister suggesting that Singaporeans "put" their elderly parents in nursing homes in Johor Baru:

Mr Khaw added: 'Of course many visit daily, but quite a significant number visit only during the weekends, so what is the difference in putting them in Johor Baru?'

I don't know about you, but I think a smarter way to say it would be "what is the difference if they stay in Johor Baru?". Slightly better right.

And then our brilliant minister goes on to say that:

If any medical problems cropped up, the elderly could be taken back to Singapore by ambulance, he said. (Incidentally, the grammar here is funny isn't it? It should be "crop" and "can". If it was past tense - which doesn't make sense here - it should be "If any medical problems had cropped up")

I wonder when was the last time he went across the causeway. Or maybe he's assuming people who're cheapskate enough to "put" their elderly parents in a nursing home in JB because it's cheap will be able to afford heli-evacuating their parents back to a local hospital in times of emergency.

Maybe there will be an ambulance lane at our causeways. No jam, no immigration check. That would be good news; prices of marijuana would drop. And perhaps it'll rejuvenate the illegal porn dvd/vcd industry in Singapore.

Anyway, you can read the comma-ridden article here.

Oh, The Minister has one redeeming quality though; he contributed in a very significant way to a sight for sore eyes. That makes it all okay :)

Wave-Smile-Get-3-Million-Bucks-A-Year

2009-02-08T16:09:00.002+08:00

Deliberations of President shrouded in mystery

"But Mr Tharman said: “I’m not sure why it is relevant. At the end of the day, this is a system that is different from Norway and Australia, where as much detail as possible is provided."

I see, details of how our government does things = bad. Lesser mortals should just trust, lah.

You have to trust ..

While serving as economics director in Monetary Authority of Singapore in 1993, Tharman was charged under the Official Secrets Act for inadvertently releasing Singapore's 1992 second-quarter flash projections^[4] to a research director Mr Raymond Foo, and economist Manu Bhaskaran, of Crosby Securities and journalists, Kenneth James and Patrick Daniel from the Business Times.

Tharmam was convicted by Senior District Judge Richard Magnus, and fined S$1,500 along with the other defendants.- Wikipedia

"whoahhhh"

2009-02-08T15:30:00.002+08:00

Jamie Yeo loses virginity at age 18, blogs about it 14 years later, and "Singapore parents" get their panties all in a bunch.

I wonder how many "Singapore parents" were polled though.

Pop Culture Wisdom

2009-02-08T10:46:00.002+08:00

Kite Runner

"The only sin that matters is theft. When you tell a lie, you steal a man's right to the truth."

The curious case of Benjamin Button

"Sleep with me?"

"Absolutely."

Tragedy

2009-02-06T01:29:00.001+08:00

Since the beginning of time has Man been fascinated with Tragedy. There's a certain nobility that comes with melancholy and despair that gives people the illusion of transcendence. One can almost picture people in biblical times gnashing their teeth, beating their chests, and tearing their clothes, wearing expressions of agony but in their hearts, beneath the anguish, peace.

It has been written that some wear their despair like cloaks, as if somehow, their sorrow elevates them above the humdrum of life. Such is perhaps the basis for the relatively modern term - Emo. People who hide behind their hair, who never say very much, who dress in black, who listen to songs so depressing it's practically suicide inducing. There's a whole market for songs like that. Songs of yearning, songs of despair, songs that mourn the passing of life, songs that ridicule life. Songs that speak of misery, songs that talk about hurt. You still hurt me, I'm all out of love. You left, and now my life is just a rainy day.

For every two less lonely people in the world, there's a bleeding romeo and a child letting go of his kite. For every walk along together, there's a lipstick mark on a coffee cup and teardrops on a guitar.

For every celebratory champagne, there's the can of beer.

Well, for folks like that, it's worth bearing in mind that - the world ain't slowing down.

----------------
Now playing: Paul Ellis - The World Ain't Slowing Down
via FoxyTunes

The Interview

2009-02-04T11:46:00.002+08:00

An interviewing panel comprising a relatively friendly middle-aged man and two ladies made for a very relaxed Shaun. And a very relaxed Shaun results in very .. Shaun-ish answers.

Q: "How was the exchange in .. Waterloo, Canada?"

A: "Awesome. You know exchange is mostly about fun."

Q: "So what did you do there?"

A: "Oh, mostly drinking and partying."

Whatever happened to 'an exchange of cultures, meeting people of different nationalities, traveling, learning independence, exciting driving experiences, etc'? God knows. My subconscious seems to have neatly summed up my entire exchange experience into one phrase - "drinking and partying".

Q: "What's your favorite subject in NUS?"

A: "I enjoyed doing Business Law, but I didn't do so well in it."

Q: "You didn't do well in something you enjoyed?"

A: "Well, it was an open book paper, and everybody knew more or less what was going to be tested and so prepared extensive notes. So did I. Only difference is that I forgot to print them. And discovered it only in the exam hall."

Q: "Does this happen often? Exams are quite important matters, no? Can we say you're careless?"

A: "No, and you can't judge from a one-off incident -best disarming smile- blah blah blah"

God help me, eh? But honestly I think the interview went pretty well. Hopefully they appreciate honesty and me being completely at ease with them _should_ score some points.

I remember a question about how I should have had done very well in poly to be able to get to NUS. Uh huh. And the next line .. "So what happened in NUS? -waves hand over what I think is my transcript-" Ouch. My reply? Something about how poly students don't study much and I was able to get by with doing close to zero studying. After being motivated to get into NUS, all I had to do was start studying a little more seriously and here I am. And then I uttered a line about "and then there's the two years of brain decaying in national service..."

Yep. So, God help me. All ye righteous folks out there please start praying for me. Oh, by the way, it's an interview for a year-long internship/work-study program in silicon valley.

No Shit

2009-02-03T09:08:00.005+08:00

I know my mum is linguistically talented. Or at least, she can speak several languages and dialects and come across as being extremely proficient; just don't ask her to read or write.

I discovered on her last trip here though, that after going for a couple of art classes, she produced the following:

People who know me will know I can't draw to save my life. So now I sit and wonder why the artistic talents were not passed on to her only son.

2009-01-25T10:03:00.002+08:00

I spent half of Friday and Saturday wondering why mum did not call me when she landed in Singapore. Then I texted my aunt on Saturday afternoon and found out she was landing later in the evening. Prior to this mum and I agreed that I was to join her for breakfast on Sunday morning.

And somehow my addled brain thought last night that breakfast was two days later. How can one screw up so. badly.

Now there's the question of reunion dinner. Agreed to have it with dad and his gf's family. Now that mum's upset I wonder if I should join her and her family instead. One's in tampines, one's in lakeside, so I can't possibly go for both. God.

the many shades of grey

2009-01-25T03:10:00.003+08:00

I haven't been writing, and it's not because I lack the desire to do so. Many times I find myself staring at the empty space trying to put into words my emotions and thoughts. I arrive at the same conclusion every time though; that it has all been said before.

My life's going in circles. A downward spiral. I go through the motions; doing the same things, saying the same things. I crack the same jokes and express the same strain of cynicism and irony so much that I even bore myself.

I'm a gunslinging chaser of the wind. I'm a hollow shell. I'm the envy of some, pitied by the rest.

A spinning coin, that's what I am.

2009-01-20T03:05:00.002+08:00

I had a dream in which,
again, I could fly.

With an atlas and a compass,
I could go anywhere I wanted.

Slicing through the clouds,
I was a gunslinging
chaser of the wind.

Bankrupt

2009-01-15T23:55:00.001+08:00

Dear LIM JIN SHAUN,

The following module has been allocated to you:

Module Code: CS4252
Module Title: Control, Audit and Security of IS

Your Program account is now bankrupt.

-

Someone has a sense of humour, eh.

School

2009-01-06T17:31:00.002+08:00

I have a tendency to forget or screw up important stuff, resulting in me having to do a lot more shit to compensate.

For example, I did not bother calculating and planning the modules that I have to take to graduate, and now I have to overload a term just to graduate in time. That's not such a big deal, but I also forgot to do the module preference exercise where we can indicate the modules we want to take this term and they will be allocated to us.

As a result .. I've to write emails like this begging for a place.

Dear Prof,

To design and produce an innovative product or service has been the dream and goal that I have held together with a couple of close friends since my secondary school days.

We have pursued several opportunities ranging from the mundane like offering IT solutions to small businesses and home users, to revolutionary uses of existing technology such as interfacing with the built-in cameras on mobile phones to lead users to electronic content from traditional media such as papers. Unfortunately, Zapcode was released shortly after we started work on the technical aspect of our project, and we abandoned it in disappointment.

Some of my friends have entered the working world since, and seem to almost have lost the drive for entrepreneurship. To be honest, I too had resigned myself to a similar fate, hoping to get a position as an associate in a consulting firm and working my way towards being a Business Analyst.

When I found out that this module, Digital Entrepreneurship is being offered, it reignited a spark for entrepreneurship in me. I remember the excitement that comes with brainstorming with friends and coming up with something that at that moment we were all convinced was going to take the world by storm.

I would like to try again, but this time I want to be prepared. That is why I want to take this module.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Best Regards
Shaun Lim

Life

2009-01-05T01:26:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I feel like my life's a crazy intertwining of Oscar Wilde's Picture of Dorian Gray and De Profundis. Or a jazzy, lounge rendition of Radiohead's Creep.

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Now playing: Karen Souza - Creep (Radiohead)
via FoxyTunes

Back in '02

2009-01-04T02:56:00.002+08:00

I tried looking unsuccessfully through my old blogs looking for a post I did about the sandbox, but found nothing of that sort. Strange. I remember blogging about it.

I did find this though, written in feb 2002. No idea why I wrote all in small caps.

throughout our lives, we establish certain theories on how to live our life, on the quirks of humankind. we come to sudden realisations on facts of life and we learn through experiences that shatter our hearts and tear at our soul. we've been in moments when we want the world to just pause, stop and never move on. when we're holding someone we love close to our bosom, when we're lying warm in the arms of our loved ones. time spent lying on lush green grass, watching the clouds move slowly by, accompanied but the sound of waves crashing against the shore. the scene flashes by, giving way to a picture of a square cubicle, where a person toils unceasingly for the better part of each day, just so that he can survive, feed and clothe himself and his family. his life lacks both splendor and warmth, relationships turn cold, yet he presses on, a lifeless, unthinking machine, working to survive. the varities are endless, from one extreme to another, the thoughts of man perverse and twisted, yet at times illogically kind and warm. there are among us, people who step out of the mundane, secular circle of life. poets, philosophers, religious leaders. different that they are, yet bound by one common element. the unwillingness to live life just as it is, instead searching with their limited mortal mind the deeper meaning of life. on the other side of the coin, we have individuals choosing to live life to the fullest, ignoring the mystical and the obscure, scorning the superstitious. they believe only in their own ability and power:"fate? what fate? things are within my control".

hidden in-between the extremists, among the many others, is the dreamer. lamenting the debauched ways of the world, skeptical of any existance or display of good in the world, yelling and condemning do-gooders to be hypocrites and having some hidden agenda, he himself doing nothing for the needy and helpless. the dreamer sits on his bum, too overcome with indolence to work, yet eager to rise and take arms, protesting against deforestations, killing of creatures, insects and worms.

Another shot at Love

2009-01-04T02:09:00.003+08:00

How does one approach Love? Can one take a rational approach and perhaps love incrementally; dipping first a toe, then a foot before slowly wading in. Or does one dive right in, loving on the onset with one's whole heart? How many times though can one bounce back from getting one's heart broken. How can one love with one's best time after time without either drowning in sorrow or turning cynically jaded?

I remember writing once about how adolescent relationships are akin to a kid playing in a sandbox. It's better, I postulated, for one to experiment with relationships when one is young as the intensity of love in our younger days should be lesser and the negative impacts of a broken heart less serious. It's hard for me to convincingly advocate this point of view now as I no longer fully believe in it.

Although it might be true that the extents as to how a broken heart will pragmatically affect a youth's life is much lesser as compared to someone who's already trying to establish a career, it's no reason for one to be flippant and careless about entering relationships. We start out with this innocent and almost infinite capacity for love. When we love, the person becomes the center of our universe and everything revolves around the person. The object of our affection is on our mind when we awake, and before we sleep we smile thinking of the person. Now I believe, that this innocent approach on love has to be protected.

Bouncing back after a failed relationship is never easy. And somehow it almost seems like one never full recovers. It becomes a little more difficult to love the next time, and the next fall a little harder.

I'm turning 25 this year. The mere thought of it sends a shiver down my spine. A friend's getting married this year. Another successfully balloted for a flat and would have to get married in 2 years or so. We're of the same age and yet in vastly different phases of love.

I had a shot at love, and I blew it completely for a lifestyle utterly inane. Another shot at love and I would have to be nothing short of insane to let something even remotely similar happen.

Talk about sarcasm

2009-01-02T00:46:00.003+08:00

"State-run gas giant Gazprom confirmed that supply to Ukraine had been shut off at precisely 10.00 am (0700) as planned following the expiry at midnight New Year's Eve of the old contract.

"We have reduced supply of gas to Ukraine by 100 per cent," Gazprom spokesman Sergei Kupriyanov told reporters, putting the volume at 110 cubic metres per day. "

Reduced by 100%, eh. Cut off say cut off la. Sounds like our transport companies and their fare "adjustments".

PM Lee said this in his new year message:

Singapore's key strengths are our honest and capable leadership, sound policies which look beyond the short term, social cohesion and talented and hardworking people. These strengths have brought us peace, prosperity and progress for decades, and they will see us through these difficult times. When the environment was favourable, we upgraded and grew our economy, lived within our means and patiently built up sizeable reserves. So when this sudden, severe storm struck, we were ready.

Honest and capable leadership. Their capability is debatable, and in all fairness they probably are. But honesty? Give me a break. "Honest mistakes" maybe.

All that lies ahead

2009-01-01T03:27:00.013+08:00

At this exact same moment a year ago I was on a plane to London where I was to transit and head to Toronto, Canada.

The advent of the new year of 2008, Singapore time, went past uneventfully on board the plane. Probably Japheth turned to me and mumbled "Happy new year", but that's about it.

The advent of the new year of 2008, Canada time caught me sleeping in Destination Inn, Waterloo, exhausted from the traveling and suffering from jet lag.

What followed for the next 5 months however, was nothing short of amazing.

The first day saw me attempting to smoke in temperatures so cold my exposed fingers hurt and tramping around in -23 degrees weather doing nothing more important than making snow angels.

Then of course there was the crazy term spent in the University of Waterloo.

And the first sip of Canadian beer..

Watching my first ice hockey match..

..And baseball game

Made myself at home

Found out that RFs can be cool

Partied like C R A Z Y

And of course, made several good friends. It's impossible to chronicle all I did on exchange, so I shalln't try. Just well .. check out the photos on facebook. Haha.

Life after Canada has been .. crazy as well. I'm not proud of some of the things I did in the later half of '08. I made many mistakes, and .. now I'm lazy to continue typing.

Happy new year folks.

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Now playing: Radiohead - (Nice Dream)
via FoxyTunes

The Annual BBQ at Weeli's Place

2008-12-29T23:50:00.001+08:00

Highlight of this year's bbq? Guitar Heroes. Haha.

Kite II

2008-12-24T15:57:00.003+08:00

There's something about cutting loose
the string of a kite
that invokes in people a sense of freedom;
of being untethered from restraints

to be allowed to soar
as high as one wants
carried by the breeze
soaring above the clouds

There's something about being carried by the breeze though, that people conveniently forget. There's no way to steer, and a kite cut loose is essentially at the mercy of the breeze. The perceived freedom is in fact an utter lack of control.

Yes of course there's undeniable exhilaration; dancing along with the breeze. The trouble starts when the air stills, and the kite comes crashing back towards the earth, far from where it previously was.

-

The kite cut loose tumbles as freely as it soared now that the air is still. I see where the kite is headed to; a marshland that I'm all too familiar with.

Not one where I shrivel up and wallow in self pity but one where moral compasses never seem to work and insignificant details like consequences and conscience slide off minds like water down the back of a duck.

This is where a bitter laugh and a cynical shrug are the only defenses one might need. This is where the concept of monogamy is sketchy at best, where a girl can look you in the eye and make you swear exclusivity while she fucks half a dozen other guys behind your back.

This is where you fuck not because you're lonely, not because you're attracted, not because you love, but because you can.

This is where "I'm a bastard" spreads more legs than a trembling declaration of love.

This is where ... I once lost myself.

This is where ... I never want to be again.

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Now playing: Chet Baker - Everything Happens To Me
via FoxyTunes

2008-12-24T15:37:00.002+08:00

In little flutters and a series of gentle teases, the suppressed emotions bubble, threatening to disturb the surface of forced nonchalance.

The kite cut loose tumbles as freely as it soared now that the air is still.

The pristine white of newly fallen snow now soiled and sullied.

It used to be that I write better with a broken heart. Now it seems even that little comfort has been taken away from me. Maybe I need to be intoxicated and broken-hearted. I shall try again tonight.

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Now playing: A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover
via FoxyTunes

Results

2008-12-23T20:06:00.002+08:00

My results for this term? 2Bs and 3C+s. Bad, eh? Haha, I guess I should be thankful I didn't fail anything considering how I lost all zest for studying after my exchange. I expected to do well for my business law paper though(remember the one for which I forgot to print my notes?) and getting a C+ is quite an injury to my pride.

Speaking of injuries, I went to a sinseh for my swollen instep. She was a middle-aged lady from mainland China who seemed to know what she was doing; explaining to me how the injury spreads from my big toe, to the sole of my foot and all the way along the outside of my shin to my knee. I understood little else apart from that though; I need to brush up on my mandarin.

And so now I'm kinda confined to my room. I think twice before even going to take a leak. Hobbling doesn't become me.

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Now playing: Augustana - Rest, Shame, Love
via FoxyTunes

2008-12-22T22:39:00.003+08:00

I limped my way laboriously back to hall from the bus stop. Just as how I limped from harbourfront station, hopping on one leg to catch bus 30, and how I limped painfully from the cathay to dhoby ghaut. I hate this, it makes me feel utterly helpless and miserable.

Only this morning I was feeling slightly proud of myself for being able to complete the runs during training, and in the afternoon entertained myself kicking heavy bags and pads at Fight G. Look at me now, limping around with a swollen ankle which was a result of my in-step connecting with my sparring opponent's knee/shin after less than a minute in the ring.

Pathetic. Merry Christmas, Shaun.

The One

2008-12-22T02:33:00.002+08:00

I got out of bed to check if Job's wife died along with all his children. It would have been great proof that there's no such thing as "The One" if she had died and God had simply blessed him with a few replacement wives.

Unfortunately though, that wasn't the case. She survived everything that Satan threw at Job and I'm guessing remained extremely fertile considering how Job had many other children; 10 to be exact.

And so the question of whether "The One" exists remains unsolved, apart from the fact that "The One" does not have to be perfect. The only appearance Job's wife made in the entire book was to suggest that Job cursed God and died. Not exactly an ideal spiritual supporter, eh.

Doesn't really sound like something worth getting out of bed for. Good thing I need to pee, so that's precisely what I shall do before going back to sleep :)

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Now playing: Powder Finger - Whatever Makes You Happy
via FoxyTunes

Escape

2008-12-21T17:16:00.003+08:00

There aren't many things more satisfying and more effective than escaping into an utterly enthralling book. I've been reading Ken Follett's Pillars of the Earth on Weeli's and Rachel's recommendations and I must agree it's awesome.

It's set in the medieval times - my favorite era, considering that I read Critchon's Timeline at least three times over - and more or less centers around the building of a cathedral. I know it doesn't sound particularly exciting, but I suck at descriptions. Just read it. It's cheap too, considering how thick it is; works out to lesser cost-per-page.

I'm averaging 8 unique visitors a day to this blog ever since I changed the address. If you're reading this, spread the word on the address change!

And I've also lost my list of favourite blogs. Msn me your blog addresses, friends. Or tag on my board.

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Now playing: u2 - where the streets have no name
via FoxyTunes

Drinking 101

2008-12-21T14:35:00.002+08:00

Okay kids, when at a house party with a plethora of different alcohols, resist the temptation to drink "some of everything". Choose a poison, and stick to it.

And, when you're throwing a house party, for the love of bacchus please make sure you've a wine bottle opener somewhere.

Lastly, if you know you're going to be drunk, switch off your goddamn phone.

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Now playing: Muse - Knights Of Cydonia
via FoxyTunes

these foolish things, this foolish man

2008-12-20T01:12:00.007+08:00

a black and gold bag sitting on a shelf in zara
a black jacket
a pair of skinny jeans
the flicking of a lit cigarette
misspelling "cigarette"
teasing someone about falling into the toilet
looking at the bumps on my shin
hamsters scurrying around their tank in a pet shop
drinking in my room
when a7x comes onto itunes
hearing friends bitch about some peranakan drama
splashing on cologne
picking out a black tee
putting on a ear stud
sweeping my fringe to the side
seeing a girl in patent leggings
a pair of high heels
eating a steak
subconsciously picking out a clean coaster at brewerkz
looking at the coasters pinned on my wall
looking at a little kid
sharing a jug of beer
ordering fruit juice
my friends ordering china apple
popping vitamin c
going ice skating
seeing movie posters
writing a blog post
googling for "baby alex"
plugged into my ipod
going pass "behind"
walking pass provence
hong kong
"you're making fun of me"
"inappropriate!"
"school! school!"
thinking of how i'll do for the exams
thinking about going to zouk
thinking about going to walas
thinking about the steak party
washing glasses in the sink
every time a msn window flashes
every time my phone beeps
sitting on a bench on the roof
lying on my bed
you invade my dreams
my every waking moment
these foolish things,
remind me of you.
it has only been a day
this shall pass
this shall pass
this shall pass
let me wallow
let me sleep
let me wallow
let me sleep
and never wake up
till it really
does pass.

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Now playing: Elliot Smith - Miss Misery
via FoxyTunes

And so it is

2008-12-19T09:05:00.004+08:00

The emotional roller coaster of the past couple of months is over. I've always thought walking away was the easy way out, that if I love someone, then that someone is worth fighting for, worth staying for.

Even now I wonder if I made the right decision. But this feeling will pass, as with all things, and life goes on.

But for now, it hurts.

Legal papers served via Facebook

2008-12-16T23:56:00.000+08:00

An Australian couple have been served with legal documents via the popular social networking site Facebook.

Mark McCormack, a lawyer in Canberra, persuaded a court to allow him to use the unusual method after other attempts to reach them failed.

BBC

Hong Kong Day 1

2008-12-10T22:02:00.002+08:00

I must have drank more tsing tao beer tonight than i've ever had in my life thus far.

And my cantonese is ... atrocious.

Bought a tie (yes, again)

More shopping tomorrow :)

Off I go

2008-12-10T08:43:00.002+08:00

I'm eating a $7.50 breakfast consisting of a foccacia sandwich with exactly one and a half slices of ham, a pack of jack and jill chips, and a plastic cup of lemonade at some GoGo Franks cafe in the airport. Bloody rip off.

..Then again, it's nothing compared to the food in London's airport. Ah what am I doing, taking a leaf from our esteemed government's playbook and comparing Singapore's cost of living with London.

I'll see how the food's priced in Hong Kong.

Ciao, I'll be back on the 15th.

World Class

2008-12-07T23:27:00.005+08:00

I waited an hour for SBS service number 10 today. An hour. I was tempted to give up and head back to my room; only waiting because I wanted to give the bus driver a piece of my mind. I waited at the bus stop along pasir panjang road which is at most 5 mins away from the kent ridge bus terminal. How there could be ZERO service 10 buses was beyond my comprehension.

An hour later the bus came and I noticed a notice printed on the windshield informing people who see the bus that the route would be affected due to the standard chartered marathon. Come on, wouldn't it make much more sense to have notices at the BUS STOP instead?! I wait an hour, see the bus coming, and am supposed to be pacified by that one stupid notice?

I asked the bus driver what took him so long and he explained impatiently that his bus was stuck due to road closure. I went "what're you talking about, didn't you just come from the terminal?", and after a moment or two he realised what I was suggesting and explained that the buses travel towards the terminal, where the drivers stop for 20mins to have a meal break before leaving the terminal again.

I got it. It wasn't his fault. It's his company that's fucked up. The marathon happens every year. How difficult is it to cater for extra buses to leave straight from the terminal? As our government would put it, this is sheer complacency. Or maybe we should just regard it as a "honest mistake" and just move on.

A toast to the first triumph of reason over emotion.

This, yes, even this, shall pass.

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Now playing: Miniature Tigers - Cannibal Queen
via FoxyTunes

"you burst my bubble."

2008-12-02T17:30:00.004+08:00

There's something peculiarly liberating about walking under a pouring rain. After the first couple of seconds you realize that given the distance you have to cover, you'll get drenched no matter how fast you run. In my case it's even more obvious given that my fastest running speed's probably slightly faster than that of a walrus on land.

And so, you settle for walking nonchalantly pass people cowering under the relative shelter of one of those tiny foldaway umbrellas, inwardly sneering at their surrender to the elements while priding yourself on your triumph.

At least until the bottom of the paper bag containing a six pack of chang, a plastic lighter, and an ipod nano gives, and the said contents spill onto the wet ground.

That's probably when you'll look down and accusingly mutter, "you burst my bubble."

-

On an unrelated note, I'm done with this term's exams :)

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Now playing: Ben Folds Five - Evaporated
via FoxyTunes

A sinking feeling

2008-11-27T01:51:00.003+08:00

Today was my business law paper, the one paper I _really_ prepared for. Remember the 12 hours I spent in the central library one day? It was spent consolidating all the information I could get on Tort of Negligence and the various types of Misrepresentations in word documents, bulleted logically and with all the supporting cases scattered in the lecture slides and textbooks.

Well. I flipped open the exam paper today, looked at the first question .. and my heart sank. Somehow, it was at the exact moment that my eyes fell on the question that I realized that I had forgotten to print the notes I had painstakingly prepared.

Brilliant, eh?

And Jun shouldn't you be asking whether I feel better instead of complaining about my blog post?!

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Now playing: Asobi Seksu - Thursday
via FoxyTunes

My Stomach's Upset

2008-11-26T14:58:00.002+08:00

Have you ever felt like you must shit even if it's the last thing you'll ever do as living, breathing human being, rush to the toilet, plop down on the toilet bowl and realize that no, the shit's not gonna come out?

I've been feeling this way all afternoon. In fact, even as I'm typing this I'm fighting an irresistible urge to go shit, or at least, attempt to take a dump. Why don't I? Because I know it's futile. I'll just end up twiddling my thumbs on the toilet bowl, come back here after 5 mins, and realize that hey I need to shit.

I can't decide if I've diarrhea or constipation cause I've had two extremely satisfying dumps today; the feeling of needing to shit just refuses to go away.

The ketchup did taste a little funky at lunch though ... urgh. And I hope none of you guys are eating while reading this post :D

Ok off to shit. Sometimes logic takes a back seat vis-a-vis feelings, like the feeling of needing to shit.

Of these things I am troubled

2008-11-25T02:14:00.002+08:00

It came to pass, in the time of Paul the apostle(more or less) that certain men came forth from Judea and taught the gentiles saying, "unless you are circumcised according to the custom of Moses, you cannot be saved."

Of course this went against what Paul had been teaching; that it's only through grace and faith that one attains salvation, and nothing more. The old commandments were set aside in favor of the new when Christ came to die on the cross.

The dispute was brought up during a council in Jerusalem where the original apostles, the converted Pharisees, Paul and Barnabas were present. The Pharisees, as anal as ever over the law, insisted that the gentiles be circumcised. Simon Peter spoke up in defense of the gentiles, stating that God gives the Holy Spirit to Jews and Gentiles alike, and if God Almighty makes no distinction between them, who were they to impose the burden of the law on them?

This, Simon Peter said, "we believe that through the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ we shall be saved in the same manner as they." He mentioned too that it was by faith that the hearts are purified; insinuating as well that it's not adherence to the commandments that brings salvation.

James spoke after that, quoting the old testament where God said something about how He would rebuild the tabernacle of David and set it up so that the rest of mankind(non-jews, ie: gentiles) "may seek the Lord, Even all Gentiles who are called by His name."

All's fine and good, till James saw it fit to add his opinion:

"Therefore I judge that we should not trouble those from among the Gentiles who are turning to God, but that we write to them to abstain from things polluted by idols, from sexual immorality, from things strangled, and from blood."

The council was apparently satisfied with that compromise, and so a letter was drafted to the gentiles saying:

"For it seemed good to the Holy Spirit, and to us, to lay upon you no greater burden than these necessary things: that you abstain from things offered to idols, from blood, from things strangled, and from sexual immorality. If you keep yourselves from these, you will do well."

And since those since were documented in the book of Acts which is now part of the bible, has it now become the will of God that we abstain from these things?

It troubles me. It was the view of James back in his day that these were the bare minimum of the old law that the gentiles should keep. In the letter to the gentiles, the author said that it "seemed good to the Holy Spirit" that those particular burdens were laid on believers. Acts did not state that the Holy Spirit explicitly agreed. Did they take His silence as concurrence?

The biggest question now though is .. is ... can I still have my steak medium rare?! And of course there's the issue of sexual immorality..

If certain issues such as the consumption of blood, and other exhortations that the current establishment think archaic can be set aside, would it one day be acceptable to .. fornicate as long as it is within the boundaries of a loving, committed relationship between two God-fearing Christians who would have been married had they lived in a much earlier era, and are currently prevented from doing so only by the relatively modern obligations of life like undergraduate studies, paying off student loans, getting a job and combating an almost constant inadequacy of finances?

As a disclaimer, I have to add that the bible has to be taken as a single coherent message and not out of context like what I perhaps just did. Or did I? Perhaps I have become as Peter said in his second epistle:

"For if, after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the latter end is worse for them than the beginning.

For it would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than having known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered to them."

Perhaps. But what exactly, praytell, is the "holy commandment"?