From bash.org

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

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A: what should I give sister for unzipping?
B: Um. Ten bucks?
A: no I mean like, WinZip?

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A: man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert
B: you don't live in Hope mills do you?
A: ya, why man?
B: lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?
A: you mother fucker

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A: Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
A: wait, shit

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A: hey baby, whats up?
B: umm....nothing?
A: So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
B: Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
A: Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/

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A: Hey Mike
B: what?
A: Pussy.
B: er?
A: Pussy.
B: and?
A: Pussy.
B: ...
A: Pussy.
B: i dont get it
A: AND YOU NEVER WILL.
B: bastard

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JstWnnaHveFuN08: do you think i should call a guy friend and talk to him about my problems? or will he not care?
Thilo: Here's how it works: if a guy helps you with your problems, you're obligated to give him a blowjob.
JstWnnaHveFuN08: lol thanks that cheered me up
Thilo: No problem. That'll be one blowjob please.

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