Judas Iscariot watched impassively as his fellow disciples distributed the bread and fish with expressions varying from disbelief to utter awe and amazement. "Fools," he thought, "it's obvious that Jesus is no charlatan. There's no mistake that he possesses an unique power. It is his divinity that is questionable."
He remembers when he first heard of the Messiah, Jesus of Nazareth, who though coming from a family of carpenters, taught at a tender age in the temple and spoke with the authority of Moses. Religion, Judas knows, can be a powerful weapon. One only has to look at the virtually absolute power the pharisees wield over their people for a glimpse into how this power can be turned to profit in the hands of the right person. Someone intelligent enough not to be blinded by the hindrances that come with religion - someone, like him.
Judas started following Jesus, keeping his distance, and observing the mannerisms of this so-called Messiah. He saw Jesus calling Peter and the others to follow him, to become fishers of man. So this Messiah is looking for disciples. He was sharp enough to know then, that Jesus would attract a huge following, and that by following him, he might be able to maneuver himself to a position of power and profit.
He walked out from behind the crates at the dock, looking straight into the eyes of Jesus and inclining his head in a subtle salute. Jesus returned his gaze and said very words Judas craved, "follow me." Judas widened his eyes in surprise, and thought to himself that for all his claimed divinity, Jesus seemed to lack even the basic mind-reading ability of the back-alley psychics. Couldn Jesus not sense that the heart of his latest disciple was anything but pure? He briefly entertained the thought of ignoring Jesus, but his feet shuffled towards Jesus and his disciples, and he found himself excitedly saying "Yes Lord, of course!"
What followed then were some of the hardest days of Judas Iscariot's life. He had always prided himself on being wise, and above the trappings of religion, but seeing the works and miracles that Jesus performed, how can he be anything but what he claims? Judas was an antagonised Jew at best, and treated the many petty rituals the pharisees taught and require with contempt. He allowed himself a little snigger; at least that's one point he and Jesus agreed with. Judas had watched with no less than vidicative glee when Jesus thrashed the temple of Solomon and took delight when then the hapless pharisees went half mad cursing Jesus and the Devil.
Naturally, Judas found himself in charge of the group's finances. The followers of Jesus numbered in the thousands, and many of them brought gifts of fragrances and precious oils which Judas shrewdly sold for hefty profits and conveniently pocketed huge slices of them. Judas wasn't poor; he certainly didn't need the money. He did it because he could, and also to test the divinity of Jesus, who called himself the Christ, God Incarnate, all knowing, and all powerful. For all his amazing miracles, why could the Lord not notice that one of his disciples not only doubted him, but was cheating him! It confounded Judas, and troubled him to no end.
And then there was all the talk of Jesus leaving, and going to a far away place that they would not be able to follow, at least not for a while. Where was he intending to go? And why did it sound like he was going to die! God doesn't die, and certainly not his son, and not a son who claimed to be one with the Father. It sounded all mildly ridiculous at best, and utterly insane at worst.
Judas looked now at Jesus, who sensing his eyes on him, stopped mid-sentence and threw him a chunk of bread with a smile and a nod as if to say, "go ahead, have a bite." He has affection for Jesus. He might secretly suspect that Jesus was slightly off his rocker, but he's a friend. A friend who's going to die. Try as he might, he was unable to dispel that thought.
He stood up, and walked away from the multitude, from Jesus and all the other disciples. He walked into a clearing by the water and sat down on a boulder with a sigh. Why couldn't he just believe as the others do in the divinity of Jesus? Why did Jesus choose someone as cynical as he is to be one of the chosen twelve?
He was pondering this thoughts when he saw beneath his eyes, a pair of exquisitely beautiful feet with nails so polished they looked almost translucent. The feet were clean; a rarity in the desert, and bare, which was absurd considering the heat of the ground. Judas allowed his eyes to travel slowly up, taking in the white, shimmering robes of the person and his clean, almost perfect hands and nails. He gazed upwards, squinting against the sun's glare, and found himself looking into the face of an angel.
The angel's hair fell carelessly in locks of chestnut brown, in almost the exact same shade as that of Jesus. His features were defined, and symmetrical, lips curled upwards in a sort of half smile. It was his eyes though, that arrested the attention of Judas. Behind the blue-gray of the irises lay basins of melancholy so profound it was all Judas could do to not rip his clothes and cry out in the traditional expression of sorrow his people are so fond of.
"Judas," the angel said to him, "Judas Iscariot, my brother, the partaker of my fate and the adversary of God Incarnate." With a sudden realization, Judas knew he was in the presence of the Devil. He jumped to his feet, causing the Devil to take half a step back with a bemused expression on his face, raising both hands slightly with the palms facing Judas in a gesture of peace. "Whoah," said the Devil, "easy, boy."
"Th..e Adversary," Judas stuttered, "the adversary of God, the Devil!"
"Yes, that's who I am. And you, my friend, were created for similar purposes as I was. Who created me? I am a son of God, created out of nothing by the Almighty himself, he who calls himself the Alpha and the Omega, the omnipotent one, the all knowing one.
"Look at me!" and as if to illustrate his point, The Adversary spread the wings behind him, their radiance almost blinding Judas, causing him to shield his eyes with his hand and turning away from the Devil. "I am beautiful, am I not? God in his majesty and grace created me in his likeness, and believe me, no other angel even comes close to my beauty. I am Lucifer, the Son of Morning, the Prince of Air, and the ruler now of this world you tread on.
"Didn't God, in his omniscience, know that I was going to rebel? And not only I! A full third of heaven's host joined me in my rebellion. What did we rebel against? Precisely that which troubles you! We did not understand why God did things the way he did. Why did God create this earth, and all the universe only to populate one tiny garden, the Garden of Eden with two humans, created also in his likeness. What was to become of us, the angels who could do nothing but sing his praises since time immemorial.
"The humans, Adam and Eve, frolicked in the springs, enjoyed the company of the animals and spent time with God in the evenings. God walked among them, and spoke to them, fellowshiped with them. What was the purpose! Weren't we enough? Was God so greedy he was not content with his heavenly hosts?!
"I questioned God repeatedly on this, and he could only say "Trust me, Lucifer", and left it at that. Why bother infusing me with intelligence and brilliance without peer if not for me to question and to understand his actions? He could have been contented with the other archangels like Michael and Gabriel who in their simplicity trusted him without question. Why create me if not for me to question?
"Spurned by God, I traversed the universes, walking along what is now called the Milky Way, and seeing planets barren and devoid of life. What was God's plan for these stars? Did he create them just to demonstrate his capability! What arrogance! I went down to earth and listened as the green herbs he gave as food to Man and the animals cried out in agony as they lost their lives only so the moving creatures could live. Why was this so? Why did God create life only for it to be lost for such meaningless a purpose? Why couldn't God create every moving creature to be self-sufficient like he is? Like we are? I was lost. And as I spoke to the lesser angels about my views, more and more were swayed to my side till finally God exploded in his fury and all of heaven stopped to turn their gaze on him"
"Lucifer!" he roared, "take your doubting angels and leave. Leave heaven, for you obviously trust not in the Lord, your God. Live then with creation, and understand if you will, why I do the things I do, and made creation the way it is."
The Adversary sighed and turned his back towards Judas, raising his hands to the heaven as he continued, "I was cast down from heaven, hurling towards the earth like a common rock. All around me I saw the other angels, my friends who had listened to me speak and agreed with me that our God despite his awesome glory was incomprehensible.
"We landed, as luck, or God's will would have it, outside the Garden of Eden where God's favored creatures lived. The first of your reproachable kind. Your father, and mother, Adam and Eve. Pure, and innocent. Yet I remembered God's commandment for them not to eat of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Of course, another question emerged in my mind. Why tell the humans not to eat of the tree and yet put it smack in the middle of the garden? And why cast me out of heaven only to put me where his precious creatures lived. It was obvious to me then that I was created for this very purpose. I was to be God's Adversary. That was why he imbued me with the powers and intellect that I have. He wanted a worthy Adversary. It was his will; who was I to fight it?"
The Adversary turned and looked at Judas. Shrugging his shoulders, he continued, "This, my friend, is where you find yourself. You've wondered why Jesus chose you despite your obvious corruption. Why didn't he know that you've been stealing from him? You fool. Of course he knows. He is omniscient isn't he? It's all part of God's plan. He is to be betrayed, and you are to be the instrument of his betrayal."
Judas Iscariot could only stare in shock at the Adversary. For all his self-claimed brilliance, he was only mortal, and the avalanche of information the Devil has flooded him with in the past few moments was overwhelming to say the least. He opened his mouth to speak, but the Devil raised his hand wearily, "We'll have time for conversation soon enough, my friend. For now, your master seeks you." And with that, he, the Adversary of God, disappeared.
Judas collapsed to the ground, drenched in perspiration, trembling with exhaustion after the encounter with the Devil.
He awoke to find himself on his bed, alone in his room. He awoke slowly, dressed, and made his way down to the communal hall where he could hear the voice of Jesus speaking to his disciples. "Come join us, Judas, you've had a fever" said the Lord, and when the Lord commands, there was nothing to do but obey. Jesus was talking once again of betrayal, and his impending death. Judas found himself unable to keep his eyes on Jesus, unsure whether the encounter with the Devil had been a fever-induced hallucination.
"The one whom I give is bread to, will be the one to betray me," he heard Jesus say, and like before, tossed the bread to him, saying "Go, do what you have to do."
Stricken with grief and fear, Judas took the bread, and slinked away into the night, the same night in which he would betray the Son of God with a kiss, and in the process, committing the perfect sin, giving up the lamb of God to be crucified on a cross for the salvation of humanity.
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Word Count: 2,136
I've no idea why I came home immediately after climbing and spent over an hour writing the above. I hope you people read it in its entirety. I hope some of you like it. This is crazy ...
Using a dual-monitor set-up is almost a reflection of how I'm choosing to live my life; I can't seem to focus on one thing at a time. I've multiple windows open, and my attention is scattered among the open windows even as my overtaxed processor loudly protests.
