"Singapore United"

I saw a link titled "Singapore United" and for a second there thought it was some all-star S-league team (although I can imagine how picking out a team from comprising stars from the S-league wouldn't include many Singaporeans) but instead saw a cheerful picture of our esteemed leader and the tag line:

"PM Lee calls on Singaporeans to work together to find solutions to the crisis"

It's tragic but funny how Obama's campaign of "Hope" and "Change" came across as inspiring and apt while "Singapore United" triggered a mental scrolling marquee of "HAHAHHAHAHAHA". I guess I should be thankful that our politicians aren't superimposing their faces onto images of superheroes.

I googled "Singapore United", hoping that our much beloved government isn't intending to make this shit official and found, well, singaporeunited.sg complete with a logo in very gay(happy) colors, alternate letter sizes and a bear mascot named SUnny bear. SUnny bear. What. The. Fuck.

According to "SUnny Says" - or in less retarded terms, the FAQ section - Singapore United is the world's highest paid, respected, and adored governement's effort at community engagement to maintain harmony, started in response to terrorist threats. That would mean that either our esteemed leader or our factual and nonpartisan press is reusing the term "Singapore United". My humble and most unqualified advice is, Please Don't.

SUnny says that:

"Should a bomb explode in Singapore, we are not sure how the rest of Singapore will react to the incident and to each other. In this regard, our leaders saw the need to further strengthen the social and psychological resilience of Singaporeans, not just at the local level, but at broader levels and across other segments of our society too."

Maybe they can give out SUnny bears. That should be comforting. They already have a theme song, located under, gasp, "Fun Stuff" and named *Singapore* United. No, I didn't add in the asterisks. When did they create this brilliant piece of crap, the 90s?

Anyway, more about the musical masterpiece. Here's the description:

Music moves people and bonds them together. As the Community Engagement Programme (CEP) moves into its third year, we want to harness the power of music to draw people together, to build networks of trust, and be prepared.

With this in mind, a Singapore United theme song has been specially composed by the Deputy Director of Music, Insp Sulaiman Bin Abdul Wahab, of the Singapore Police Force Band. Sung by Sgt Audi Hariz Bin Sarman and Sgt Emiliah Binte Senin of the Police Force Band, the song made its debut at the National CEP Seminar on 3 May.

We thank Prof Jeremy Monteiro for his suggestion in 2006 to use music to bond people.

Use music to bond people. Bond people. Composed and sung by members of the police. Awesome. Someone listen to it and let me know how bad it is? Wait, that's negativity. Listen and tell me how good it is.

I downloaded the lyrics but it's in non text selectable pdf format. I guess they didn't want people to easily lift their work of genius. As a community service though I shall reproduce parts of their well thought out, reassuring and heartwarming lyrics:

We live in a place where there is harmony
A home where there is peace and hope for everyone
Where we unite as One

If time must come when we face trying or troubled times
Unite no matter what's our race or what's our faith
Together hand in hand

Chorus:

Singapore United
We will strive for our vision and hopes
Together we'll achieve
Our goals for Singapore

Singapore United
Let our hearts all beat as one
Many minds, singing in one voice
Together Singapore!

-

Ok, read the rest yourselves. It's too painful. I pray we'll never be bombed; I don't want this flooding the airwaves. Ever.

Singapore United, eh? Give me a fucking break.