Meet Emptiness

Feeling empty. My stomach, my bank account and my soul.

I had duck rice and black chicken soup for dinner at 630pm, now it's already 1015pm - reasonable hunger.

Have been going on a little spending spree, buying whatever I like, and clubbing pretty frequently - of course my bank account's depleting.

God has been much neglected in my life - understandable to be spiritually dry.

There's an overwhelming sense of emptiness, and a little voice in my mind's telling me that the main issue of emptiness can be easily resolved. I'm looking for fulfillment in all the wrong places. Seeking happiness instead of joy, sucking a sweet instead of drinking water to quench a thirst.

My father's worrying me. I can't help but feel that there's something fundamentally wrong in a son trying to bring a wayward father back to the narrow road. There's nothing wrong in a son supporting a father, be it financially or emotionally, but for a son to worry about his father falling into addictions and doing things that are basically silly, it's just, well, silly. Don't get me wrong, I love my father. He's a charming gentleman, and a loyal friend, he just has his faults, like everyone of us.

Everyone gets a little lonely now and then. I guess I'll never know, and I pray to God that I'll never know, what it feels like to be divorced, raise a child single-handedly, hang around with friends who have happy families, try several times to settle down but never finding a soulmate, get into disastrous relationships, giving your best to your son, while facing financial difficulties. A mountain of debt. An empty bed. Oh God.