My Stomach's Upset

Have you ever felt like you must shit even if it's the last thing you'll ever do as living, breathing human being, rush to the toilet, plop down on the toilet bowl and realize that no, the shit's not gonna come out?

I've been feeling this way all afternoon. In fact, even as I'm typing this I'm fighting an irresistible urge to go shit, or at least, attempt to take a dump. Why don't I? Because I know it's futile. I'll just end up twiddling my thumbs on the toilet bowl, come back here after 5 mins, and realize that hey I need to shit.

I can't decide if I've diarrhea or constipation cause I've had two extremely satisfying dumps today; the feeling of needing to shit just refuses to go away.

The ketchup did taste a little funky at lunch though ... urgh. And I hope none of you guys are eating while reading this post :D

Ok off to shit. Sometimes logic takes a back seat vis-a-vis feelings, like the feeling of needing to shit.