Saturday, August 04, 2007

Do you remember the moment you said the Sinner's Prayer? The pure, tingling joy that travels down to your fingertips as tears roll down your cheeks, mucus clogs your nose and you look like a general wreck? Ok, maybe not, but that was how I looked like when I prayed for forgiveness, repented and accepted Jesus as both Lord and Saviour.

That was 12 years ago, during a church camp when I was a skinny bespectacled kid with short, un-parted hair. I knew fully well what I was getting into. My group leader went to great lengths to explain why we needed salvation in the first place, and described the crucification process in great detail - down to the length of the nails they drove into our Lord's wrists. I was overcome with remorse and gratitude and wanted to give my life to God immediately. But no, we were told to sleep on it, and to return to the same place at 4am if we still decide we want to follow Jesus.

Every single one of us turned up, and tearfully went through the sinner's prayer. I made a promise then, that I would wake up early every morning to do my Quiet Time, and spend precious time with God.

Fast forward to present day, and where am I? I've had practically zero growth since I left Bethany at 14. In fact, I've strayed. I cling stubbornly on to the essence of our faith, and doubt everything else outside of it. I pray in tongues, but I honestly can't find any biblical support for the kind of tongues we practice nowadays. I doubt .. and doubt .. and question .. and yet I believe. I believe that we sinned, and that God sent Jesus down to die for our sins, and through him we are gifted with eternal life.

I need to remember that Jesus is both LORD and Saviour to me. LORD, but then I spend pitifully little time with him. Our lives are supposed to be living testimonies for God but people express surprise when they learn I'm Christian.

Yes, Hello, I'm Shaun, and I'm a Christian.

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Now playing: hillsongs - Reaching For You
via FoxyTunes

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