"Singapore United"

I saw a link titled "Singapore United" and for a second there thought it was some all-star S-league team (although I can imagine how picking out a team from comprising stars from the S-league wouldn't include many Singaporeans) but instead saw a cheerful picture of our esteemed leader and the tag line:

"PM Lee calls on Singaporeans to work together to find solutions to the crisis"

It's tragic but funny how Obama's campaign of "Hope" and "Change" came across as inspiring and apt while "Singapore United" triggered a mental scrolling marquee of "HAHAHHAHAHAHA". I guess I should be thankful that our politicians aren't superimposing their faces onto images of superheroes.

I googled "Singapore United", hoping that our much beloved government isn't intending to make this shit official and found, well, singaporeunited.sg complete with a logo in very gay(happy) colors, alternate letter sizes and a bear mascot named SUnny bear. SUnny bear. What. The. Fuck.

According to "SUnny Says" - or in less retarded terms, the FAQ section - Singapore United is the world's highest paid, respected, and adored governement's effort at community engagement to maintain harmony, started in response to terrorist threats. That would mean that either our esteemed leader or our factual and nonpartisan press is reusing the term "Singapore United". My humble and most unqualified advice is, Please Don't.

SUnny says that:

"Should a bomb explode in Singapore, we are not sure how the rest of Singapore will react to the incident and to each other. In this regard, our leaders saw the need to further strengthen the social and psychological resilience of Singaporeans, not just at the local level, but at broader levels and across other segments of our society too."

Maybe they can give out SUnny bears. That should be comforting. They already have a theme song, located under, gasp, "Fun Stuff" and named *Singapore* United. No, I didn't add in the asterisks. When did they create this brilliant piece of crap, the 90s?

Anyway, more about the musical masterpiece. Here's the description:

Music moves people and bonds them together. As the Community Engagement Programme (CEP) moves into its third year, we want to harness the power of music to draw people together, to build networks of trust, and be prepared.

With this in mind, a Singapore United theme song has been specially composed by the Deputy Director of Music, Insp Sulaiman Bin Abdul Wahab, of the Singapore Police Force Band. Sung by Sgt Audi Hariz Bin Sarman and Sgt Emiliah Binte Senin of the Police Force Band, the song made its debut at the National CEP Seminar on 3 May.

We thank Prof Jeremy Monteiro for his suggestion in 2006 to use music to bond people.

Use music to bond people. Bond people. Composed and sung by members of the police. Awesome. Someone listen to it and let me know how bad it is? Wait, that's negativity. Listen and tell me how good it is.

I downloaded the lyrics but it's in non text selectable pdf format. I guess they didn't want people to easily lift their work of genius. As a community service though I shall reproduce parts of their well thought out, reassuring and heartwarming lyrics:

We live in a place where there is harmony
A home where there is peace and hope for everyone
Where we unite as One

If time must come when we face trying or troubled times
Unite no matter what's our race or what's our faith
Together hand in hand

Chorus:

Singapore United
We will strive for our vision and hopes
Together we'll achieve
Our goals for Singapore

Singapore United
Let our hearts all beat as one
Many minds, singing in one voice
Together Singapore!

-

Ok, read the rest yourselves. It's too painful. I pray we'll never be bombed; I don't want this flooding the airwaves. Ever.

Singapore United, eh? Give me a fucking break.

Something funny

Something funny happened when I was walking through the central forum today

Guy: "Hi, we're from _______ and we're trying to promote moderate drinking among students."

Me: "hahahaha"

Guy: "Would you like to support our cause?"

Me: "But I like to drink a lot!"

Guy: "Er, never mind then."

In retrospect, maybe they were trying to get non-drinkers to start drinking moderately. But then again, this is NUS, and in Singapore. Who am I trying to kid.

One of my favorite sites has been blocked by local ISPs. No worries though, we can still access it at their temporary location here. So much for liberalizing, eh.

One Step Closer

One step closer to Armageddon :D

"China’s central bank on Monday proposed replacing the US dollar as the international reserve currency with a new global system controlled by the International Monetary Fund.

In an essay posted on the People’s Bank of China’s website, Zhou Xiaochuan, the central bank’s governor, said the goal would be to create a reserve currency “that is disconnected from individual nations and is able to remain stable in the long run, thus removing the inherent deficiencies caused by using credit-based national currencies”." - FT.com

Unscheduled?

I got the following email in my NUS mailbox:

Dear Students,

There will be an unscheduled system maintenance on (Sat) 21 March 2009, 8pm to (Sun) 22 March 2009, 1am.

During this period, Email Archival Service will not be available. If you try to retrieve archived emails from your mailboxes, you may receive an error message box as follows:

.. .. blah blah blah .. ..

This maintenance is necessary for NUSmail service stability.

-

I don't see how this is unscheduled.

If I Could

I would write about love;
blissful love.
About one whose hand
I gingerly hold,
whose lips
mine gently brush.

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Now playing: Radiohead - Fake Plastic Trees
via FoxyTunes

Dumb

I was telling Japheth a couple of days ago that I've not had an ulcer since secondary school.

Fast forward to 3mins ago and you see me drinking from a bottle of Meiji milk that I keep in the fridge in the pantry.

You know the foil that they use to seal the mouth of the bottle? I peeled it only halfway back cause I was lazy to throw the foil away. The reduced exposure of the mouth caused increased suction that resulted in the milk spilling a little after I took a swig. My response was to jerk the bottle swiftly downwards and well, it hit the top of the refrigerator door, jamming the mouth of the bottle into my upper lip.

How smart, eh.

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Now playing: The Doors - Love street
via FoxyTunes

Rebuttal of sorts

Apparently, Jeryd had a little friendly gender-related debate with a female friend of his. Yes, I know, I was surprised Jeryd still talks to female friends too :D:D okay, kidding bro.

I was never a fan of such debates. It's crazy to stereotype an entire gender. You can say all smurfs are blue, but you can't say all girls take an hour to bathe, or that all guys love soccer, right? I'll do it for him anyway though ..

Here are the points i'm supposed to respond to (starts from 2, so I assume he handled point1):

2) Why is it that you never carry bags... then when you meet us, you ask whether you can put your stuff in our bags??

I've to compliment this girl on being, I assume, a girl who carries her own bags. Few things in this world are sillier than a girl spending $600ish on a tiny LV or Coach bag only to have it dangle off the shoulder of her muscular boyfriend. For the love of God, you buy the bag because it looks pretty ON you and not your boyfriend.

Guys will usually cheerfully help you out with a couple of heavy textbooks, or a notebook computer, but getting him to carry a ladies bag is just wrong. Of course, being loving and all, we wouldn't want our girlfriend to suffer, so guys, bring a relatively empty bag, and dump her stuff in it. You don't look like a sissy, she doesn't look like she's emasculating her boyfriend, she's freed of her load, and you pull chivary off without looking like a pussy. Everybody wins.

Back to the question though. Do you girls know how difficult it is for guys to get a bag that doesn't make him look like a school kid nor a gay? I know some guys dig the whole metrosexual look and will gladly carry bags that look suspiciously effeminate, but personally, it turns my stomach. I've been guilty of going out clutching a book in hand, and depositing it in a lady friend's handbag. Shrug, I'm sorry I guess. I can afford neither a car, nor a nice unschoolboyungay looking bag.

3) Why must you insist on checking out other girls in front of us, then deny it and insist you were only staring at her because she looks like your friend?

I seem to remember the excuse being circulated many years ago but didn't know it was still in use. Haha, quite a good one eh? A muttered "I think I know that girl from somewhere..." should be pretty safe :D

When I'm out with a girlfriend or someone I'm really interested in though, my field of vision extends from somewhere beyond her left ear to somewhere beyond her right ear. In other words, I don't oogle at girls when I'm out on a date. At least, not consciously :)

An alternative would be to point out both hot guys and hot girls. Maybe that would work.

4) Why is it that you can wake up in the wee hours of the morning to watch soccer but can't wake up early to go for breakfast with us?

I don't wake up in the wee hours of the morning to watch soccer but guys can't rotate the earth; it's not our fault the matches are played in the middle of the night. It's passion, you know. And it's a live telecast, so unlike your sappy korean/taiwanese/japanese dramas, catching it on youtube at our leisure doesn't really work.

Breakfast, eh? How bout you spend the night at your boyfriend's place, then wake him up in the morning? He sleeps like a log you say? Get creative, use incentives. Positive incentives, k.

5) Why do you always want to appear so macho, but then groan when we ask you to help carry our shopping bags?

I was told that a major perk of shopping is to actually CARRY the brand-labeled bags so the world knows where you've been shopping and how lucky you are to be able to shop as much as you did. Or maybe having a pack mule carry your shopping is kinda empowering in a way.

That being said, I don't think any of my friends have a problem carrying their girlfriend's shopping. And none of us make too much of an effort to appear macho. Jeryd, maybe your friend needs to fine tune her boyfriend selection criteria :D

Here's a suggestion though. Shop more at places like la senza, and your boyfriend might gleefully carry your shopping for you - perhaps even with a blissful smile on his face.

(where's 6!)

7) Why is it that you spend so much on electronic equipment, but make so much noise when we buy clothes, shoes and bags?

Spend on whatever you want, just don't whine about being poor after that. Unless you're spending the boyfriend's money .. then that's something else altogether. Haha.

Okay, done :D

I should be studying, man.

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Now playing: The Doors - Love street
via FoxyTunes

Fight or Flight

Some battles are worth fighting.

Some causes are worth dying for.

In cases like that you dig your boots in and tighten the grip on your sword.

And then there are times where the odds are so hopelessly stacked against you it makes little sense to do anything other than run.

So you run.

I know. An African American became the President of arguably the world's most powerful country with the slogan "Yes We Can." but then again, he went to Harvard.


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Now playing: Ben Folds - Still fighting It
via FoxyTunes

First Class Sarcasm

I stumbled upon this blog post:

"

Today’s Straits Times Forum published a letter from the Government Whip, Mr Lim Swee Say on the attendance of Members of Parliament for this year’s Budget Debate. The letter is reproduced below:

The Straits Times, Feb 28, 2009
PAP MPs IN PARLIAMENT
Duties taken seriously
I REFER to Miss Rhea Tan’s letter on Wednesday, ‘Why so many empty seats at Budget Debate?’

I would like to assure Miss Tan that PAP MPs take Parliament sittings seriously. They have to seek the Speaker’s permission in writing to be absent from a sitting. They also have to inform the Government Whip if they are unable to attend Parliament on time or have to leave early.

For the Budget Debate, Parliament sits from noon to 7pm. This year’s Budget Debate was attended by 90 elected and Nominated MPs on Feb 3; 86 MPs on Feb4; and there was full attendance of 93 MPs on Feb 5.

While PAP MPs are expected to be in Parliament, they are not able to stay in the Chamber for the whole seven hours. They need to leave the Chamber from time to time for lunch and breaks, to do research and revise their speeches in the library as the debate progresses, and to attend urgent calls and meetings which they are unable to reschedule. The Government Whip ensures there is sufficient quorum in the House at all times.

So even if MPs are not in the Chamber, it does not mean they are not in Parliament or not carrying out their duties as MPs. The effectiveness of PAP MPs should not be judged by the hours they remain seated in the Chamber but by their participation in debates, the contents of their speeches and how well they serve their constituents.

Lim Swee Say
Government Whip

It’s seemed to be a routine letter but if you take a deeper look, it said that “there was full attendance of 93 MPs on Feb 5“. A quick check on the parliament website showed that we have indeed 93 MPs in total.

But wait!!! I thought Mr Seng Han Thong was hospitalised after the vicious attack? News report showed that he was only discharged on 7 Feb. So that means that he attended the all important budget debate on 5 Feb despite being on hospitalisation leave.

How could the act of this dedicated and responsible MP go unreported in the mainstream media? Hats off to Mr Seng who showed tremedous courage to attend the parliament session despite obviously still recovering from the horrendous attack. Mr Seng is my idol!"

-Taken From http://thetimeisnowsg.wordpress.com/2009/02/28/mr-seng-han-thong-is-so-garang/